The first time...

We all remember our first time right?! Our first kiss... our first job... our first day at school... for the record... 

... those daunting moments that you look back on now and think, 'what was all the fuss about?!' but these moments are landmarks in our lives... we don't look back on all of them fondly... the first time we lose someone we love, changes us forever... the first time our heart is broken, we question love and others so we never have to feel that hurt again... the first time someone we really trusted let us down... but all of these moments make us who we are... I'm not a very religious person... I'm a humanist of sorts... I believe if you are a good person then you will attract kind and good people... I truly believe in paying it forward... but sometimes people take advantage of that and you end up feeling a bit lost... 

Someone whom I adored but is sadly no longer with us, once told me 'be kind to everyone.. because everyone you see is going to lose everything they love...' I've never forgotten it... Everyone, all of us, are going to lose everything we hold dear... it's kinda scary but very liberating too... because once you get this... you start to focus on what and who really matters in the right now... 

Losing weight, includes a series of 'firsts' that can turn the journey into an adventure... 

The first time you step on the scales... that moment... the shame... the self loathing... the embarrassment... you've let it get out of control and now you're mortified that someone else on the planet knows that number... but you feel a hand on your shoulder from someone who's been there saying... 'that's the last time we'll ever see that number' and you kinda believe it...

The first loss... that moment when you thought 'well it wasn't that hard.. and if I can do it one week, I can do it again next week!' Self belief kicks in... 

The first stone you lose... that number on the scale... people who don't need to lose weight or don't struggle with an eating disorder or emotional eating won't get it... but for those of us who do... you want to stick your silver 7s on your forehead for the day saying 'oh these things?!? .. oh I lost a stone of FAT!' HELL YEAH!

The first dress size you lose... that belt notch going down... you still doubt yourself but you suddenly think.. well I'll need to buy some new stuff.. the first shopping trip that you will ENJOY! 

The first compliment... the 'you're looking well...' the 'have you lost a bit of weight? You look great!' ... now it's a goal that's achievable.. you realise CAN do it... 

The first gain... heartbreaking... but you tried, you did your best right?! or worse, you know you binged and lost the plot and thought you'd get away with it... did you let it spiral out of control? throw the card in the bin and give up? no way! 

The first time you notice your 'friends' attitude changing... they liked you the way you were... you were the fat friend... good old reliable miserable fatty... not this new fangled confident person who just says 'no thanks'! Don't worry about the back stabbers and the haters, the people who try the hardest finding fault in your life, are the people who aren't able to fix the faults in their own! For the record this one really hurts! 

The first saboteur... 'sure ONE slice of cake won't kill you...' No, no it won't but I can't have ONE slice! So you change your routine to avoid being around them and food at the same time! It's sad but if they can't support you then you need to make it clear that something has to change... 

The first 5k you do... I did my first by myself because I didn't want to 'hold anyone back' and honestly it was amazing! You'd swear I'd crossed the olympic line with all the drama *cue the chariots of fire music*... People flying past me doing the 10k circuit shouting encouraging words... one man even stopped to walk along with me for a minute, I could've kissed him! No idea who he is or where he was from but it meant SO much!

The first time strangers understand and support you... Boot camp ladies... I mean you! 

The first time you make a stir fry BETTER than the chinese... OK this takes a bit of practice but it's SO worth it!

The first time you realise.. you're just caring about you... and you matter... and that's OK...

The first time you get on a plane and the seat belt closes... FYI don't scream when that happens... they don't like that in planes! 

The first time you pull up those jeans past the thighs... and the first time the feckin things close!!! 

The first time you zip up those knee high boots all the way! Hallelujah! 

The first charity bag you have of clothes that are too big... 

The first time you really believe you can do it... and the end is in sight... 

The first time you look in the mirror and don't hate what's looking back at you... 

The first family outing, when people do a double take... FYI... THIS ONE IS AWESOME!

The first time someone comments on your new 'attitude'... oh yeah... 

The journey may be long... It's been coming up to 3 years so far for me... it's had it's ups and downs... but ultimately there's a new series of firsts on the horizon... 

First skydive, oh yeah that's happening... first trek abroad, hello Peru! Lots of other bucket list stuff to cross off now that I'm getting fitter and healthier... just remember... if you're starting today or you're halfway through or if you're just at goal... there's another amazing first waiting for you... and as the ad says.. you're worth it! 

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YOU CAN!

Ever wake up and think... I just can't do it... it's too hard... no one will care anyway... I'm not worth it... I'm too busy... sure I'll only fail and put it all back on again anyway... 

Lets just kick that to the curb!

How much do you want it? I mean REALLY want it...  then the answer is YES you can do it! 

And to rock out the old cliche... if I can do it... ANYONE can... and I know you really REALLY want it... 

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Repeat after me....

Because you really really want to... 

That. Is. ALL!

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You're worth it!

One thing I can say with absolute confidence is weight loss is not easy... for anyone... whether you have 1 lb, 1 stone or 10 stone to lose... the battle is hard for everyone, really fecking hard... but every half pound is a success... and if you close your eyes and look into the future... you can see a healthier happier you... and that's SO worth it!   

This week... think how much you want it... and how you're going to feel when you get even half way there! I'm only just over half way through my journey but I'd never have imagined I'd feel this happy even half way there... its worth it and so are you! x 

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Why?

Last Thursday I left my class very motivated! My leader is amazing.. she knows all the right things to say and no one ever leaves class feeling like they can't succeed! 

It went like this... 

'What made you come here? The first time you walked through the doors.. Why did you decide enough was enough? Was it a photograph? A comment? A feeling? A wedding? A birthday? What was the straw that broke the camels back?' 

Everyone had a different answer, from 'I couldn't get my jeans on and I wasn't buying new ones' to 'I went shopping for a wedding and couldn't get what I wanted and there's no photos of me because I was too embarrassed...' 

For me it was a good talking to from an anaesthetist who, not only frightened the shite out of me... but humiliated me in front of a big crowd of people ... and looking back she was only doing her job, I was already scared and upset on the hospital gurney with no pants on... and I was super sensitive to everything and everyone...the follow up trip to my doctor afterwards, was the moment that it all clicked... I had joined and rejoined so many times it wasn't funny...  it wasn't breaking news that I had a weight problem but this time was it... and I've stuck with it... now I'm 5lbs away from 8 stone! (even I can't believe that!) 

Today think about WHY you started being healthier... Why do you want it so bad? To be healthier? to look and feel better? To have a bit of confidence when you go clothes shopping? To be a healthier parent?

Remember why you started and imagine if you were back there today... 

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It's not me... it's YOU! #MondayMotivation

Does anyone else have a friend in their life that just drains every ounce of energy out of them?! Can't just be me right?!?! This weekend I had some long hard talks with a good friend who's opinion I really trust... Yes, there was gin, vodka, weight watchers sausages and buckets of cinder coffee involved but it was 'deep and meaningful no holds barred all night' kinda chats and I could tell her anything and know it was OK, I wouldn't be judged and she wouldn't call the cops... but when I waved her off last night, I realised I needed a new mantra... 

Good friends are really important, I'm talking the ones who will lend you bail money... and they're really hard to find... sometimes you invest your energy and give it your all but it's doomed ... no matter how hard you try to make it work for you, eventually you realise that it's not you... it's just not! Trust me!

This week... if someone is begin a negative Nancy... or someone is draining you and not supporting you, really supporting you... lose 'em... if someone is dumping all their drama on you AGAIN... breathe deep and remember... it's not you.... it's THEM!!! You're not a bad person if you put yourself first... 

As we get older... we outgrow people... as you lose weight, you learn who is really behind you cheering you on... and although people might start off shaking their pom poms for you... are they there when you really need support? I mean REAL support... When you feel like giving up, are they there? If any alarms bells are ringing... just remember, out loud...  'It's not me.. its YOU!'

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Me...

Ahhh Monday, here you are again... you know most weeks, something flies along my twitter timeline or pops up on Facebook or I spot something online that inspires my Monday Motivation post... But last week something happened that made me think this Monday it should probably be about me... *wipes sweat off brow* they should give out bravery awards in Weight Watchers ya know!!!

Last Thursday I walked into my Weight Watchers class thinking maybe, just maybe, I had hit the 100lb loss, I had been fecking about for about for weeks but my tracker was perfect... I'd walked... drank water... swam... surely this week...  

At a glance, the room looked a little different... I spotted my usual leader wasn't taking the class... Instead there was someone beside the scales, someone I felt I already knew... her before and after pics have been all over the place... I read her blog all the time... I follow her on Facebook... she's a Weight Watcher leader herself ... and all my Irish followers would know her from her amazing blog the Niptuck Food Blog!!! I know right!!! 

You know they say you should never meet your heroes... Well lemme tell ya... she is awesome! I couldn't bring myself to tell her who I was, I'm a big chicken, roasted and stuffed with gravy... oooohhhh... (mental note: never write blog posts when hungry!)...  plus I'm painfully shy about admitting who I am, people who know me in real life would never guess that being I'm so gobby... I always think people have an expectation and they will be bitterly disappointed when they meet me... But I was so distracted by her and her fab figure (and cute sneakers BTW!)... her before and after pics were at the scales large as life and they are SO inspirational! So when I stood on the scales, it took me a minute to notice that the 3.5lb loss had pushed me over the 100lb loss!!! 

Amazing? Yes! Inspirational? Yes! Motivating? Yes! Hardest thing I've ever done?! Abso-feckin-loutely!! 

It has been hard... really hard... disheartening... I've wanted to give up so many times.. I have binged... not tracked... cried... been so angry with myself... driven round the roundabout on the way to class twice talking myself into going, people of Terenure I'm not lost I swear... I've had two amazing leaders and honestly that's half the battle... I'm happy to get a telling off every Thursday when I know I've been bold... but I also want someone who understands how much I want this and when I've tried hard and the results aren't showing, I just need a bit of a lift... both of them have done that... But for every 'you've stayed the same' or 'You're down a half pound..' Here I am, 7stone 3.5lbs lighter... in my mind, I'm over the hardest part and I'll tell you why... 

Before I started "properly", you know that 'Oprah moment' you're suppose to have... well something just clicked... I'd had enough, I was so fed up with myself... My knees hurt... I had no neck... I was breathless doing the smallest things... I was judged for my size... Not my skills or personality... But I stuck with it this time... I'm now at a point where some of the things on my 'I'm Done' list >>> HERE  <<< are well and truly done... I'm never going back there... Below are my weigh-in cards for the last two years (I re-wrote them out neatly)... It's baby steps... This weight didn't go on overnight... I didn't go to bed and wake up 10 stone heavier... I'm an emotional gal... Food was my friend when I thought I had none... I was at a very low point... Slowly but surely, I've taken better care of myself and stopped worrying about others who didn't worry about me... I'm a people pleaser... and I realised I had to start pleasing myself first, put ME at the top of my list for a change...  Despite the number on the scales... I can buckle a belt on a plane, FYI never scream in delight in an enclosed plane... ahem... I can walk upstairs without stopping... I can shop in 'normal' shops... I've got my collarbones back, nearly... My blood pressure / skin / energy levels are all better! I can walk into a restaurant and not care who is staring at me ... I'm having my lunch and pointing it so feck off... I appear to have developed a bit of an attitude problem too! 

Sometimes we get so hung up on a number... Here's a non scale victory that happened to me a couple of weeks ago coming through passport control in Dublin Airport... 

Security guard: NEXT! 

Me: *hands over passport trying to look like I'm not a terrorist* (What is that about?!?)

Security guard: *silence* *looks at me... looks at passport* ... *looks at me again.. looks at passport*  *finally speaks...* 'Is this your passport?'

Me: 'um.. Yes... God aahhh ...' 

      *panics and pulls a face that makes me look like I've a handbag full of cocaine*

Security guard: 'Have you lost a bit of weight?'  

Me: 'oh... um.. yes' *beetroot face* 'I'm doing weight watchers... 

      Down 6 and a half stone so far...' 

Security guard: 'Fair play to ya ... Next!' 

so yeah... 

Morto!!! I wanted to kiss him but the queue behind me was massive and everyone was tired, wanted to get the hell outta there... but if I was a little bit braver and a bit more mental, I would have thrown a look at the 'judgey' people in the queue and shouted 'So there!' ... Well that, and I'm pretty sure that safety glass is tough... and I don't want to be done for assault in the airport...  Ahem... 

So.. What's the bottom line? How did I do it? What miracle was it? Simple... 

I didn't give up this time... 

Losing weight takes time... It doesn't matter what plan you follow, ProPoints, F&H, Syns, counting calories... it's healthy eating, portion control and exercise... and whatever suits YOU... people often tell me to follow this or that plan... no thanks... I'm happy doing it my way and well done you for doing it yours... but clearly this is what works for me... when I stick with it... 

Life happens, and some weeks your body will go against you... but don't give up... periods, bloating, the ice cream man, that one cocktail that turned into a full blown night with a full Irish the next morning ... no matter what, there will always be a wedding, birthday, BBQ, but just enjoy it... In 100 years time will anyone worry that you were ONLY down half a pound last week?! Get a little perspective, life is too short to be miserable...  

Measure yourself, that muscle V fat is true... and some people get so upset not realising they're toning up... if only they tried on a tight pair of jeans they would realise their body is changing! My three rolls of belly fat are now just one big belly... yes its big but if you throw me a 'OMG she's huge' look... I'll whip out my WW card so fast you'll be blinded by the silver sevens on the back! 

and, finally... half a pound is a massive achievement!!! Don't knock it... look at my cards... it's slow and steady... there's ups and downs... and there's still a way to go.. I'm no where near my goal yet but my body is now at a place where I can work with it better... swim faster... walk further... I feel better about myself... and I know its a cliche but seriously, if I can do it... anyone can... 

I started WW many times but this is when I decided enough was enough and I started to record my losses properly on the 2nd August...

Wanna hear something funny... I thought by starting in August, no one would see me in class until the September 'rush' and surely I'd have given up by then... 

Whatever you do this week... take it a day at a time... a meal at a time... an hour at a time... but remember you're doing it for you... so don't give up on yourself! xxx

*hides under desk* 

  

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St. James Mani-Monday

Todays Mani-Monday is brought to you by Nails inc! 
(sounds like sesame street... 'and the number 5!') 

'St. James' from Nails Inc. is a super strong raspberry red with very slight sheen to it, no glitter here... its the kind of red that looks good on most skin tones... It's got more pink undertones than your typical 'red' ... coverage is really good ... first do a thin/light coat then make your second coat much thicker.. and let it dry... I mean properly dry! Finish off with a clear top coat and it's pretty much fool* proof! 

* I mean me... 

The science bit... it's got 'Plasticiser technology', dontchyaknow... whatever that means... but you heard it here people... but honestly it's one of the better 'gel' effect polishes I've tried so far... it's really hard wearing.. for someone who chips her nails 5 mins after they're done it gets a thumbs up from me...  

and because I like to faff about with my nails, I added 'Knightsbridge Place' from the Nails Inc. POP ART range to jazz it up a little... I've done two coats and it's got a clear base so no clear top coat needed... The coverage again is really good... You're not dipping your brush in over and over to grab some of the funky lil polka dots... The colours are super summery and will go with reds, teals, pinks and baby blues... I think it would look awesome on tanned toes too ... The POP ART range is going to be fab for summer when summer arrives! 

One last thing... is it just me or do all the names in their latest range sound like they're from Made In Chelsea?!?  

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Darkness into light...

At 3am this morning I was making pancake batter … Not my usual 3am snack choice when I’m raiding the fridge … but tonight no one was falling home… tonight we were revving up to walk for someone special… runners were donned… hoodies on.. a lick of lip balm to finish off the look … 

This morning I walked with my loved ones for Pieta House… The Darkness into Light 5k… when we got to Bray strand … there was already a buzz… the rain had stopped… the sound of waves crashing just made you breathe deep and soak up the salty air… and the mood was very special… positive… talking to strangers with their stories at the start and finish… that acknowledging nod... everyone was there for a reason... everyone understood... smiling at the jack russells being carried up the hill cause their legs were too short… the runners, the walkers, the joggers… the dogs… the kids… all crossing the line with one thought on their mind … never forget there’s always light at the end of tunnel… regardless of whether you have lost someone to suicide … the 80,000 Irish both here and in London and Sydney were doing something good... reminding the world that suicide isn't a dirty word... 

I did this walk for three reasons… 

Sunrise on Bray Strand 4:15 

Firstly my family has been effected by suicide… to be fair there isn’t a family in Ireland who hasn’t been touched by it… and being your typical big Irish family with the majority in construction and engineering we were bound to be touched by it … My mum is the eldest of 12… my dad in the middle of 10… I have 64 cousins last count… and we learned the hard way to hound people to talk to each other… or talk to someone… when I see someone I love down in the dumps I make them talk to me… if you’re a regular here you’ll know I’m a chatterbox…  I’ve told them some of my deepest secrets, so they know they can spill and know I won’t tell a soul… I’ve coughed up the cash for counsellors so ‘mam will never know’ but at least they can talk to someone about it, if they can’t tell me… but we are always on constant alert with a family full of young people in times like these… 

Secondly, in my close group of friends… I know people who have lost a dad, sister, brother, cousin, best friend, soul mate and son… I’m not related to them but I know how they feel… and there really are no words… but this little walk lets them know I get it… and I love them…  

My third reason for walking… Neil Gordon James… Neil was my best friend in Uni… people always said we’d make a great couple, many often asked if we were but we were just too busy being best friends to ever start a romance… we did make a pinky promise that if we both hit 40 and hadn’t met ‘the one’ we’d hook up and have beautiful tall blonde haired children with a cheeky Irish sense of humour who would be great at life drawing… I sorted out his veruccas and when he asked for the ‘truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth’ about periods… I let him have it.. he walked out of the room green in the face but with a huge amount of respect for women! I loved him… perhaps the fact we were both only children gave us such a close bond, we were the long lost siblings that we never had… he cheered me up with just his smile… he was 6’5 and so skinny it wasn’t fair… we pulled all nighters when dissertations needed to be handed in… got drunk and hungover together so many times I couldn’t even count… he always left a toasted tea cake on my desk when I was PMT’d… I usually growled at him … he was one of the good eggs in life… 

In third year, he failed his exams… had to repeat them in the summer… and whilst I scamped off to Greece to do bar work* for 3 months .. *sunbathe and chase boys … he was studying… I couldn’t wait to get back to show him my tan and revel in the stories of dodgy greeks and making up cocktails for the locals because we really hadn’t a clue what we were doing! That first day back I met him at registration… I ran to him threw my arms around him and squealed! I missed my best friend and his curly hair…  I wafted about in a white cotton top to show off the tan and was wearing green levis… I fit into levis back then… sigh… he was so full of beans… we spent the afternoon catching up on the grass outside… That night our gang had decided since the grants were in, we’d have a sit down meal in a ‘proper’ Chinese restaurant! It is crystal clear in my head… we laughed so much… everyone had holiday stories … and we were so looking forward to being in 4th year… we were finally there… and it was all ahead of us… we were young, free, in college and had another year before we had to face the real world but we were finding our place … 

That night he walked me home, arms linked .. tipsy but happy… I told him to crash in mine… strangely he still hadn’t sorted out his accommodation … he had often stayed over and often stayed with the lads… so I thought nothing of it… I kissed him good night and skipped inside … I was the last person to see him alive… It was the first time I was touched by suicide…

I have run that sequence over and over in my head… What did I miss? Why didn’t he talk to me? My moods went from anger to sadness… was I such a bad friend that he couldn’t tell me what was wrong? Surely after everything we’d been through as friends he could talk to me about anything? I was so angry with him… how could he be so selfish! Had I been blabbing so much about me and my holidays that he couldn’t get a work in edge ways? I felt guilty… Why that night? Why not during the summer? Why? Why? Why? 

Turns out my friend loved me so much he waited till I got back so he could say good bye to me before he decided to take his life… He just couldn’t cope and no one had a clue… That happy giggling boy in the Chinese was falling apart inside... The days that followed are a haze of police interviews, the college chaplin getting an earful, identifying his body and my parents flying over to be with me… It wasn’t till I saw my dad in Heathrow airport I properly fell apart… My dad is my hero… surely he could explain why? Right? How could my best friend do this? Dad would have the answer… and for the first time in my life… he didn’t…  

We had our first assembly as 4th years the following week, I ran out at the first mention his name… college and life would never be the same again… I think of him often… when I hear another life has been lost to suicide, he is one of the ones who pops into my head… What kind of man would he be now? Would he be married? How many of those tall blonde haired children would he have had? Would he have followed his dreams? Found a girl worthy enough in my eyes? Would we have drifted apart? We’ll never know… and if you google his name… nothing comes up… it’s like he never was… 

Neil had put himself in a place where he thought there was no alternative… and no one can blame themselves for someone taking their own life… it took me a while to understand that … and even if I HAD known, he was going to go through with it… it was meticulously planned… he knew exactly who would find him and where… but sometimes people just cannot cope… sometimes the alternative of living is just too much and they can’t see a way out, no matter what you say… and sometimes they genuinely believe that if they weren’t around, life would be easier for their loved ones… it has been nothing but a lifetime of sadness for Neils family… 

The only advice I can offer… is be there and talk.. talk and listen… no subject is taboo… nothing in this world is so ridiculous that you can’t whisper it over a cup of tea and find the solution… a friend of mine has a system where his kids to write down their problems and leave it in his coat pocket, they don’t have to say it out loud and feel stupid or ashamed… he reads them… points them in the right direction …. destroys the evidence and never speaks of it again… it works for them… 

Our family probably give too much information now… I’ll get a txt is someone bangs their toe… but if it means we’re in each others pockets… so be it… I’m ‘annoying’, ‘interfering’ and ‘nosey’ but I never want to experience it again and I want them to know there’s always an alternative … and secretly, they’re grateful … they can jump on the bus and hang out in my house and rant and rave until they calm down or at least until 'mam calms down'… a better alternative in my opinion even if they eat me out of house and home… 

As we crossed the line this morning on Bray strand … there was a calm and moving atmosphere… my family walked in Kilkenny and Sydney… my friends in Malahide and the Phoenix Park… I knew people guiding the light in Limerick, Waterford and Cork... at 4:15am… we all had someone we love on our mind and showed the world that there is light at the end of the tunnel… and its ok to be scared… that people are there for you… and that suicide isn't a dirty word... 

Today give someone a big hug… let them know you’re there… for the good and the bad… and tell them that they mean the world to you… because sometimes they need to hear it...  

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Seasons... Weigh in #6

My back garden looks like I have green fingers! 

Spring has sprung and decided to feck off back to the cave for a while... May is effectively so far.. rubbish... 

The world runs on seasons… Summer means holidays… swim suits… Winter for cuddling up and hibernating … Spring wakes us up a bit… a bit…  Christmas… Easter… back to school … the calendar year is divided up so that just when you think you’re ready to start… something else is on the horizon!

The thing is… this healthy eating lark is for all year round and sometimes we use bank holidays… easter… a confirmation… a wedding to ‘start again’ … it’s a mentality that you’ve just got to get and I think I’m slowly getting there… how many times have we said.. ‘sure look we’ll have a blast and enjoy ourselves and we’ll start again next week/Monday/when we get home’… our bodies have no clue what season it is.. they get cold… hot… hungry… thirsty… sore… energised… tired… and … wait for the cliche… food is just fuel … I know! I know! its taken me YEARS to get this... AND why can’t cream cakes and pizza be fuel anyways!??! groan… 

We’ve only got one body…  it’s our responsibility to take care of it… no one ties you down and force feeds you chips on a Saturday night…  and no one is saying you can’t have chips on a Saturday night... or not have a good time and be ‘norma-no-mates-I’m-doing-weight-watchers’ in the corner… but you know when you’ve overdone it, you feel sluggish… it effects your skin… your mood… and you know what you have to do… but sometimes it’s easier to ignore your body and tell yourself that soon… soon, you’ll be back on track…  and emotional eating is the root of many problems… For years I treated my body like a rubbish bin… bingeing.. purging... bingeing again.. a vicious cycle... wondering why the reflection in the mirror was so hideous… I still struggle to look in the mirror… emotional eating has taken its toll on me… and there are days …even after losing nearly 7 stone when I think I just can’t do it… and i feel like enough is enough and I'm never going to be where I want to be...

The ‘seasons’ will continue… Next January… the shelves will be heaving with Easter eggs… birthdays will happen every year… and yes.. have a slice of cake but be kind to your body… nourish it… and it will repay you… that karma lark really works… 

This week I was down 2.5lbs! After all the ‘cowboy’ shenanigans over the bank holiday…  I honestly had no idea how it was going to go but I knew I had made good choices… I’m learning to make better decisions… I’m sharing treats… OK so I didn’t share the 99 but I mean that’s just ridiculous! Before we got to the main event.. I made sure I had eaten something that I knew would get me past the chicken wings, bread and coleslaw… I took control … I still had loads of fun ...  I had a few diet drinks amidst the gin… not enough to stop a massive hangover (twice!) but still it could have been a million times worse! 

A super long walk on the beach… line dancing (I’m reviving that by the way!) lots of fruit and water all helped… I made a decision before I got there to only have the breakfast grill on one day even though it was there for free all weekend, wafting about all bacon-esque… but the alternatives were just too yummy to miss out on and I knew I'd feel so much better eating healthier... and as soon as I got on the scales I was SO glad I behaved!  

Even when I got on the plane it was water and fruit… I just wanted to feel better in my skin again… and that comes with time… years of doing weight watchers has changed my palette.. even full fat milk tastes funny now! Think of your lifetime as the seasons… where are you now? Summer…autumn… Late spring… your body needs to last you all the way through to winter and fuelling it the right way will mean just that… so… 

Here’s what seasonal fruit and veggies are up for May… these bad boys will be cheap as they’re gonna get at this time of year ALDI are doing some great deals at the moment in veg! 

okra

courgettes

aubergines

rhubarb

artichokes

asparagus

spring peas

broccoli

lettuce

baby spinach

leeks

cabbage

cauliflower

new potatoes 

scallions/spring onions

cherries

pineapples

apricots

Courgette is a personal fav of mine.. the Skinny Mum grows it and we overdose every year, like we get hives kind of overdose! 

Jamie Olivers nifty way to make Courgette penne’ can half your points and it tastes SO good! Here's a diagram that I .. *coughs* stole... things I do for you people! 

Courgette penne

http://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/pasta-recipes/beautiful-courgette-carbonara

Jamie cuts penne shaped courgette… 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_pVlXnUmrI

I could only find this version online but skip to 1:28 to see how he cuts up the courgette… sneaky little beggar! Just shows we eat with our eyes and if you got a plate of this mixed with half of your usual pasta you’re digestive system would high five you and you could half the propoints for you pasta... more wine anyone?!

Also… courgette spaghetti… dear god try this! I make mine.. steam it for 2-3 minutes and pour your sauce and meatballs on top… DELISH!!! 

Courgette spaghetti how I make it… 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwOKpCC1WGI

Check out http://smugkitchen.wordpress.com too.. 

Click on the link to go directly to the recipe!

The other hero in the supermarkets at the moment is rhubarb…. and I mean who doesn’t love a crumble!!! I just stew it in a little diet 7up and use it on my breakfast… a few tablespoons stirred into porridge… swoon… 

Here’s the WW version for 3PP and the portion is HUGE!

http://www.weightwatchers.com/food/rcp/RecipePage.aspx?recipeid=406891&sc=11

And here’s two fab rhubarb recipes from one of my favourite cooking site www.skinnytaste.com 

http://www.skinnytaste.com/2011/04/strawberry-rhubarb-compote.html

http://www.skinnytaste.com/2013/05/strawberry-rhubarb-baked-oatmeal.html

aaaannnndddd.. last one... here’s a fab recipe for cabbage.. use the lardons from Lidl or Aldi and that’s all you have to propoint! 

http://www.fatsecret.com/recipes/fried-cabbage-with-bacon/Default.aspx?dietid=101

Sorry its a bit 'bitty' but its easier to post the YouTube links so you can see how other people are making this fab food! 

Fantastic losses again! Woo Hoo! Total so far in the challenge is 106lbs that's 7st 8lbs!!! 

WOWZER!

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