The first time...

We all remember our first time right?! Our first kiss... our first job... our first day at school... for the record... 

... those daunting moments that you look back on now and think, 'what was all the fuss about?!' but these moments are landmarks in our lives... we don't look back on all of them fondly... the first time we lose someone we love, changes us forever... the first time our heart is broken, we question love and others so we never have to feel that hurt again... the first time someone we really trusted let us down... but all of these moments make us who we are... I'm not a very religious person... I'm a humanist of sorts... I believe if you are a good person then you will attract kind and good people... I truly believe in paying it forward... but sometimes people take advantage of that and you end up feeling a bit lost... 

Someone whom I adored but is sadly no longer with us, once told me 'be kind to everyone.. because everyone you see is going to lose everything they love...' I've never forgotten it... Everyone, all of us, are going to lose everything we hold dear... it's kinda scary but very liberating too... because once you get this... you start to focus on what and who really matters in the right now... 

Losing weight, includes a series of 'firsts' that can turn the journey into an adventure... 

The first time you step on the scales... that moment... the shame... the self loathing... the embarrassment... you've let it get out of control and now you're mortified that someone else on the planet knows that number... but you feel a hand on your shoulder from someone who's been there saying... 'that's the last time we'll ever see that number' and you kinda believe it...

The first loss... that moment when you thought 'well it wasn't that hard.. and if I can do it one week, I can do it again next week!' Self belief kicks in... 

The first stone you lose... that number on the scale... people who don't need to lose weight or don't struggle with an eating disorder or emotional eating won't get it... but for those of us who do... you want to stick your silver 7s on your forehead for the day saying 'oh these things?!? .. oh I lost a stone of FAT!' HELL YEAH!

The first dress size you lose... that belt notch going down... you still doubt yourself but you suddenly think.. well I'll need to buy some new stuff.. the first shopping trip that you will ENJOY! 

The first compliment... the 'you're looking well...' the 'have you lost a bit of weight? You look great!' ... now it's a goal that's achievable.. you realise CAN do it... 

The first gain... heartbreaking... but you tried, you did your best right?! or worse, you know you binged and lost the plot and thought you'd get away with it... did you let it spiral out of control? throw the card in the bin and give up? no way! 

The first time you notice your 'friends' attitude changing... they liked you the way you were... you were the fat friend... good old reliable miserable fatty... not this new fangled confident person who just says 'no thanks'! Don't worry about the back stabbers and the haters, the people who try the hardest finding fault in your life, are the people who aren't able to fix the faults in their own! For the record this one really hurts! 

The first saboteur... 'sure ONE slice of cake won't kill you...' No, no it won't but I can't have ONE slice! So you change your routine to avoid being around them and food at the same time! It's sad but if they can't support you then you need to make it clear that something has to change... 

The first 5k you do... I did my first by myself because I didn't want to 'hold anyone back' and honestly it was amazing! You'd swear I'd crossed the olympic line with all the drama *cue the chariots of fire music*... People flying past me doing the 10k circuit shouting encouraging words... one man even stopped to walk along with me for a minute, I could've kissed him! No idea who he is or where he was from but it meant SO much!

The first time strangers understand and support you... Boot camp ladies... I mean you! 

The first time you make a stir fry BETTER than the chinese... OK this takes a bit of practice but it's SO worth it!

The first time you realise.. you're just caring about you... and you matter... and that's OK...

The first time you get on a plane and the seat belt closes... FYI don't scream when that happens... they don't like that in planes! 

The first time you pull up those jeans past the thighs... and the first time the feckin things close!!! 

The first time you zip up those knee high boots all the way! Hallelujah! 

The first charity bag you have of clothes that are too big... 

The first time you really believe you can do it... and the end is in sight... 

The first time you look in the mirror and don't hate what's looking back at you... 

The first family outing, when people do a double take... FYI... THIS ONE IS AWESOME!

The first time someone comments on your new 'attitude'... oh yeah... 

The journey may be long... It's been coming up to 3 years so far for me... it's had it's ups and downs... but ultimately there's a new series of firsts on the horizon... 

First skydive, oh yeah that's happening... first trek abroad, hello Peru! Lots of other bucket list stuff to cross off now that I'm getting fitter and healthier... just remember... if you're starting today or you're halfway through or if you're just at goal... there's another amazing first waiting for you... and as the ad says.. you're worth it! 

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STOP...

Everyone is on a journey... life is a journey if you want to get all philosophical about it... but everyones weight loss journey is different... 'My friend Joan loses 2lbs every week... it's not fair... ' sound familiar... This week remember everyone is different... Everyone loses and tones up differently... and you can't compare yourself to anyone else because you're YOU!

I've often stood in line at class and silently eye rolled...  'WHAT is she doing in Weight Watchers?!?! she's GOT to be a size 10!...' then felt all sorry for myself that I had ONLY lost a half pound...  I don't know where she is on her journey... it may have taken her years to lose 10 stone and her goal is just within reach... don't say you haven't done it too!

Whether it's 10lbs or 10 stone... it's entirely relative and very personal... 10lbs to one person can mean goal... to another it's a size smaller in clothes... someone else might be able to come off medication because they're getting healthier... 

So I urge two things this week... Stop comparing yourself to everyone else... focus on you... your health... your shape.. and how YOU feel... it's YOUR journey... and no one elses... 

And be kind to others who are struggling... you don't know where they are on the road to success... we all need support no matter where we are on the road but one thing is for sure... if we all support each other... we'll get there! x

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Be a PORE fessional!

So remember Blue Monday?! the most depressing day of the year? Well wouldn't you know that it would be the day I'd win something! For all the competitions I enter I rarely win anything.. my mum wins stuff ALL the time.. sigh... still I won The POREfessional range from Benefit courtesy of Cara Pharmacy! YAY! 

The goodies arrived and seriously, look at the dinky clock... and it works! Scared the life out of me the first morning I set it! Never underestimate the size of a clock and the sound it can belt out! 

Also in the goodie bag was Benefits POREfessional balm, which minimises pores, which wasn't really for me to be honest and Agent Zero Shine which is definitely more my kinda thing... I've STILL got that stupid T-zone after ALL these years and a shiny face is a regular problem, not because I'm breaking a sweat mind, but I really liked this stuff! The POREfessional balm (below) really smooths out your skin... so if I was stuck for a primer it's perfect... and at 22ml, it's a prefect travel size, so into the travel bag it goes! 

It's quite pale, I have sallow skin so it looks very peachy but it blends to a neutral tint on your skin so no fear of a colour clashes ...  

Agent Zero Shine makes shine 'vanish!' and it vanished on me... 

You pull out all the bits like so...

Twist the top...  

Tap the product into the lid...  

And make the shine disappear using the little blusher brush hidden in the bottom! 

Sweet! If you've got the dreaded T-zone or shine up easily... check it out! 

And for online bargains with all the good brands check out Cara Pharmacy online 
>> HERE <<  Free Delivery over €50 ... Top Tip - get the boy online for Valentines day! 

I'm off to make my shiny snout VANISH ... *puff of smoke* 

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V8

Juicing... the word almost fills me with me with dread... I've tried lots of juice diets, cleanses, uurrgghhh, nearly ALL of the juice fads going... and to be honest I've never lasted the course... now I'm talking the kind of juices that you have to hold your nose whilst your downing it... I'm pretty sure everyone's given them a try... yes, I love smoothies... yes, including the skin and using the whole fruit makes them very low in ProPoints so I'm not against 'juice' per say... Now, before anyone shouts how delicious and yummy and good for you they are... I know... I know... I know exactly how good they are for you and honestly I'm not against the fruit or the veggies, for me it's when they're combined! I'm a probably a juice snob... and can I also note, I'm not going to down a shot of wheat grass ever again either... no way! PLUS cleaning a juicer is second only, to my other most hated chore, ironing!

I love fruit, I think it's one of the reasons I've been so successful on the ProPoints plan, I don't over dose on it but I love snacking on it, and using it to flavour other foods like porridge, making popsicles, and adding them to my baking, blueberry muffins anyone? 

Honestly, I admire people who can drink carrots and celery, not that I don't love carrots and celery in their natural form I love my veggies I just can't drink them! Until now... and I think that's because they're mixed with fruit! 50/50!

V8 have come to town with their V-Fusion juices and I'm giving them a go! There's two in to choose from... Raspberry & Beetroot or Passion Fruit, Mango & Carrot... The Raspberry & Beetroot one is just gorgeous... it's not gloopy nor does it smell like stewed veggies (see I'm a snob) ... the fruit really gives it enough sweetness, to drink it like a lady out of a proper glass! I'm a massive raspberry fan, I used to pick them as a teenager near my grandmothers house and most of the time I had hives from eating too many... This is sweet enough to drink and the hint of beetroot is just enough to give you the healthy buzz! 

1 PP per 100ml / 3PP per 250ml serving

Low fat and free of artificial sugars means you're still getting all the good stuff without the additives! PLUS you get two of your five a day in one 250ml serving! If you're looking for a more tropical taste... the Mango & Passion fruit one is DEFINITELY worth a try! I had this one the other night at a party as I was the designated driver and in a cocktail glass no one was any the wiser! Smells so good too... and so much better than bringing a litre of diet coke for the night... I know 3PP sounds like a lot but when you think of how good it is for your insides and if you struggle to eat fruit and veg, and many people do, it might be the way to start getting the goodness into you! Water it down if you're struggling, it'll be like a cordial! 

0PP per 250ml serving 

V8 Vegetable Original juice is big in America and that too is available here... it's been produced there since 1933 and the recipe hasn't changed from day one... 8 ingredients -  tomato, celery, carrot, beetroot, parsley, lettuce watercress and spinach... all the good guys.. 100% pure vegetable juice and 150ml glass counts as one of your five a day! Bonus!

The Original Vegetable juice, not really for me, like I said I'm a bit of a juice snob... BUT it's the perfect ingredient to make Bloody Marys! See the way my mind works! AND I'm going to add it to my Zero PP soup this week to see how that works! *crosses fingers and toes*

If you can't be doing with the peeling, chopping and all that palaver... and if you don't have juicer, or one that only needs to be cleaned for an hour afterwards or if like most of us you don't have the time to make your own... these are the business! 

These are available in Dunnes and Tesco... €2.69 for 1 litre of the Original and €2.99 for 750ml of the V8 V-fusion! 

check them out >>> HERE <<< www.v8juice.com 

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Because...

I've had to give myself a good talking to this morning... remind myself how much I want this... to be healthy... not skinny... not a size 10... but to be happy in my own skin... and it's so easy to veer off path... 

Today... have a think... How badly do you want it? Seriously? How much does it mean to you? Bad enough to make a stand... to fess up in work/home/college to friends/relations ... 'I'm trying to lose a bit of weight and be healthy, I'd really appreciate your support...' You'd be surprised at the reaction... people who you thought would be there, won't be... and others will surprise you with 'I really wanted to say something to you but wasn't sure if you fancied a pal to walk with...' 

The only person who can do it, is you... and you CAN do it! But you've got to WANT it badly enough... Surround yourself with the right people... people who love you and want you to be happy... and you're half way there... 

Because if you want it bad enough... you'll do it! 

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Rehydrate!

It's January... it's cold... and lets face it all you want is a hot chocolate with some marshmallows and a biccie... now before someone gets on their high horse, lot of January grumps around at the moment, I know you can have them on the plan... everything in moderation and that, but getting your full intake of H2O is vital, especially at this time of year... we're in hibernation mode, central heating, fires, and the heaters blowing in the car and office can dehydrate us... we're more sluggish... we're not moving as much as we would in the summer... well some of us aren't... and to keep everything 'moving' and your skin clear you've just got to get it into you... so my tips... 

First up... Buy yourself a 'water' glass... something fun or cute or with a bit of bling on it... something that's not a plastic bottle! Also a fancy water bottle doesn't need to cost the earth! Keep a bottle/glass ... in ALL these places... 

Beside the kettle, whilst you're waiting for it to boil down a small glass... On your desk,  sip it throughout the day... In the car, every traffic light, take a swig...  In your gym/swim bag, the more your exercise the more you need to replenish fluids! ...  Beside your bed,  often you're thirsty not hungry, so try a glass first before you head to the fridge for a mid night feast! 

Mine are all from Homestore & More, IKEA, Dealz, TK MAXX... they all have funky glasses, large one off wine glasses and hipster jam jars! Trust me on this, you will drink more... 

Next up.. get yourself a proper water bottle... then get another one... again leave them where you regularly sit... desk, car coffee table... again out of sight out of mind... if they're there you're more likely to sip! 

Clearly I'm a big fan of the 'pink water bottle'... 

Then... make water taste better... This post from Jamie Oliver >>> HERE  <<< made me rethink how I could enjoy water more and this post from the Yummy Life >>> HERE <<< drool! I challenge you not to want to try them out... if you love fruit like I do, get out the glass jug from the back of the cupboard, chop up some oranges, melon, some kiwi, any fruit except bananas to be honest and flavour your water naturally, feck it get a cocktail glass too if it'll make you drink it! Make it the night before and it'll be full of flavour by morning! 

Load up your fruit, top tip - give everything a good squeeze on the way in 
so the natural juices can flow! 

Play around with flavours, chopped apple, chopped grapes and lemon is delicious... 

Stock up your jug with fruit... add your water and let it 'stew' for as long as you can.. 

Apple and Blueberry a new fav of mine... again make sure you squash the blueberries so you get the flavour going... 

After 10 or 15 mins you'll see it go cloudy and that's ALL flavour! 

The orange season is nearly done, so the bigger ones are super juicy right now.. 

I leave this in the fridge with my over night oats  

and its SO refreshing in the morning! 

Just so I'm down with the kids! ahem... 

Tangent - When I was a kid, if you drank out of a jam jar 
you felt like a third world citizen! Now it's THE cool think to do! 

Oh and never underestimate the power of a straw.. you'll drink loads more with one... and most of the shops do them... the pound shop / dealz do some very cool ones... IKEA have their SUPER straws coming in again soon so keep an eye out for them, bargain too! 

Other tips... When you're out for dinner place your water glass on the side of your dominant hand... you'll automatically reach for it... we're creatures of habit! Plus think of the hangover! 

First thing after you wake up, don't reach for the coffee... try a mug of hot water with a slice of lemon... it's good to kick start your liver and kidneys... sweeten it with a drop of honey if you don't like the taste... 

Eat your water... melon, celery, cucumber, soup... lots of ways to add more to your diet.. A lot of times we're not hungry we're thirsty so have a glass of water before you reach for something to eat! 

Drinking water is so good for you.. for your skin, hair, digestive system, your liver, kidneys there's nothing negative about drinking the stuff and you're 75% made of water! 

The science bit... If you need any factual back up, check out the graphic below, you can find it >>> HERE <<< I know its American based but the facts are still the same, water is good for you! 

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Game on...

Normally on a Monday I do a motivational kind of post, something to kick off the week ... it's usually something that's crossed my path that week or something someone has shared or was relevant at the time... but being January we're being bombarded with motivation and it's almost overwhelming... where were you people when I needed you in December?! So todays post is a bit from the heart...

Most people who know me well, know I’ve a bit of a thing for rugby… Since I was a kid, rugby has always been one of those things that's just been there… and yes I swoon over the players… but seriously have you SEEN those thighs..!?!?! I mean LOOK!

And this year is World Cup year so between my regular Leinster games, the Six nations and that...  I'll probably be more annoying than usual but I just love it! I love the game, the passion of the players, the crowd, the atmosphere, getting to the games... just everything about it gives me a buzz... Everyone's got their vice right??!!

Last week a good friend of mine, commented on how much I’ve changed, based on my trip with them to one of Leinster games over Christmas… We don't go to matches together very often but see each other at games for a drink but it'd been a while since we'd sat together, which is a shame cause he's gay and we can perv in peace! I asked him what he meant... but first you'll need a bit of background information... 

Before I lost weight… my mind on match day would go like this… 

Wake up and *panic*... I mean literal panic... fretting and stressing... often contemplating just not going to a game based on my weight... what was I going to wear that would be comfortable? That I could sit in and not be too hot or freeze? I'll need to find out exactly where our seats are… Would I get to sit between two of my friends so I wouldn’t feel like I was invading some poor strangers space… no one wants to sit beside the fatty right?! If I got luckyI'd be at the end of a row... Flat shoes yes… even though I SO wanted to wear my nice winter boots…  regardless of how cold and wet I’d get, flat shoes it was… there’s walking and it would be bad enough that I would be all hot and sweaty just getting there without my knees hurting too… hopefully we’d get a taxi as close to the gate as we could yeah? fingers crossed… Save the knees… or if we were going to the pub first, then we’d meet early enough to get a seat so I wouldn’t be standing for too long… not that any one would know I was hurting… I’d smile through it and be in agony the next day… this was all before I even left the house! Beating on my jersey… feeling like shite because I couldn’t rock it like I really wanted too… making sure I had enough layers to cover my arms but something that would get me through a bite to eat after without looking like I was a stuff toy! Pretending I was the organised one by ordering taxis and restaurants.. with the right seats so no one would have to move for the ‘big girl’ … I was so ashamed of who I was, I still am but I'm working on it ... it's exhausting… and clearly it showed... 

May I just inject with this… no one ever called me out on any of this… people enjoyed my company and my enthusiasm… and no one ever made a comment that made me feel like I didn’t belong… well maybe at the internationals when I was the only one wearing a wallaby jersey in the entire block of Irish supporters but still that just shows passion right?! I did my nails, put on the war paint and all the silly stuff and smiled but it was a constant battle just being there... it's actually ridiculous! 

we even eat rugby cake... 

Getting closer to the stadium I had to negotiate to the turnstiles… I had to negotiate them in my mind first... I never went through them for ages… I always panicked… I always went through the wheelchair access door, with people on crutches, with small kids… I had labeled myself 'disabled' because of my size… only once did I feel embarrassed when the young guy on the gate didn’t know what to say to me when I asked him if I could use that door… he was more embarrassed by it than me I think… and honestly I always fit through them… but my mind was in charge and all the 'what if I got stuck' dramas were being played over and over... I'd be a laughing stock... the girl who got stuck in the turnstiles would be on my headstone... if I had stopped listening to the voices years ago, life would be a lot easier… 

Then the trek to our seats… I made sure I didn’t have to leave my seat at half time so I wouldn’t have to pass lots of people in case someone made a dig at me… the whole row would have to stand up and move out to let the fat girl go to the loo/bar whatever... but no one ever did… No one ever cared… I was a supporter… on their team… I was one of them...  but I’d built up what should have been many wonderful experiences into a stressful, emotional roller coaster, every single game … in my mind I wasn't really one of them.. they were all just being nice to me... showing me pity... but it wasn't... 

The day came last year when I was with a big group of people … some who I didn’t really know that well, friends of friends, and others who didn’t know the mind games in play between my ears before the ACTUAL game … and I HAD to go through them… I HAD TO ... and you know what... I did … with ease… I couldn’t jump about or shout but I texted my best friend and practically ran up the steps in the Aviva! It was a non scale victory that made me so happy… but I had doubted myself for years... No one wants to be ‘different’ everyone wants to fit in…  I’d made life so hard for myself for so long… and there I was.. just strolling through! In fact.. I was holding people up looking at them from the inside! 

Whats this to do with his comment? Well the conversation went like this... 

Him: Geez that was a great night wasn't it?
Me: Oh yeah... 
Him: You really are happier now aren't you?
Me: How do you mean?
Him: Well you just really enjoyed the night... Its lovely to see *hugs me* 
Me: Ah stop... *getting teary* 
Him: Well it's true... I love seeing you happy again... 
Me: I got something in my eye... 

Happier... I am happier... My face wasn't stressed out... I enjoyed the game...  all of it! I didn't have to over think every single moment of the night... I went to the bar at half time and didn't rush back to accommodate anyone else... I wore my fancy boots and went for a burger afterwards and walked most of the way to get it without being out of breathe or needing medical attention... my jersey slipped over my dress and I didn't look like I had got lost on the way to bootcamp or was an unemployable mascot ... I just had a good time and clearly it showed... and when your gay best friend says it.... girlfriend you KNOW he ain't lyin'... 

What's this to do with motivation? The thing is we're all on the same team... even losing weight... no one is an expert... I've got another 5 or 6 stone to go... I struggle just like everyone else does... more so now than before because I get cocky and think that I can do it by myself but I can't... if I could, I'd have done it years ago... but everyone can learn from someone else...  it's the main reason I stay to my meetings even though I should be at work... the tips, new products, recipes and sometimes the kick in the butt is enough to get you going again for the following week... So if you feel like you're on your own you're not... there's plenty of supporters out there shouting for you to succeed and there's no need to rain on anyones parade cause when its your turn, I'm here with my pom poms shouting for you, if you shout for me... deal?! 

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