Ever get overwhelmed by it all... just remember healthy living is a skill to work on and improve at, not something you should expect to be great at from day one! Most of us have spent years working on emotional eating or a bad relationship with out bodies / food... Most of us haven't worked out or stepped inside a gym in years for lots of different reasons... Mine is shame, I know, I'm the positive one around her but the experiences I've had in gyms in the past have meant I won't darken the door of one! If you haven't exercised for a long time, it takes time to get going... no one ever just got up from the couch and ran a marathon without training or knowing just how far they could push their bodies... Take a little extra care to get your body moving and more active... Start slowly with everyday tasks, walk around the block for 10 minutes, get out in the garden and start tidying up... then gradually increase the amount of time you spend doing these things! What starts as a 10min walk on the first day can build into a half an hour in a matter of weeks but as they say, don't run before you can walk!
Instagram Feed
Showing posts with label exercise. Show all posts
Showing posts with label exercise. Show all posts
Lazy... is not an option!
Some days you just need that kick in the pants... Like a proper telling off! The other night I sat in front of the telly for 3 solid hours! I only got up to make tea and go to the loo! I wasn't in good form but I know if I'd got up off my bum I'd have felt so much better after a walk around the neighbourhood! Some days I really have to shout at myself...
JUST GET UP DOLL! GO FOR A WALK! JUST DO IT!
I always feel so much better when I exercise, my head is clearer and I have loads more energy... I sleep better too! There's no point whingeing at the scales when we know we dedicated more time to the soaps on telly than to our weightloss journey!
So lets go this week... All exercise is good for us! Lazy isn't an option anymore!
It IS painful...
For some people, heading off to the park in the morning for a 5k run is completely normal and a pleasure... for more of us it's a feeling of pure dread... It starts in the bedroom before you even get out of bed, stay with me on this...
WHAT am I going to wear? I need something that will cover me up but I won't sweat so much that someone called the paramedics! Is it raining? Maybe I shouldn't bother going? I'll go tomorrow... What shoes are comfy? Did I break-in that new pair I got two years ago enough that I won't get a blister if I wear them now? Will people be blinded by the bright pink because these trainers have never been outside my house before? I better bring some water and I'll bring some for the car too! Coat or no coat? That sweaty thing again... no make up.. ABSOLUTELY NONE... but of course the second you don't put on a lash of mascara it's like a school reunion! Water proof mascara... yep... at least I'll look like I have two eyes... Right... where will I go? Where's got a car park? (Don't say you haven't thought it too!?) ... and not TOO busy... I don't want to say good morning to the world whilst they think 'she'll be a while stomping around here losing all that fat!' but not too quiet that there's not someone around to call an ambulance! Will I need a scarf, I'll probably die of over heating but people will stare at me if I don't wear a scarf...' The location is set and off you go... you get there... you do your walk and you feel great... So what if it was 10 mins round and back... so what if you had to stop on the way round, WHY do you think the seats are there?!?! What if everyone just stares at me? No one will stare at you, they're all too busy walking themselves... no one will mention your weight... You may be breathless and you had to stop twice ... but you did it... now tomorrow we'll aim to only stop once!
That my friends is how you start... you go through the mind games and that's all they are MIND GAMES... You LEAVE the house and one foot in front of the other you do your first walk... and tomorrow you will do it again... when I first started walking I left my house in the dark of night and walked for 10 mins... and I HAD to walk home I wouldn't dare call someone to come get me I'd be mortified! 20 mins of walking done! Yes, it did hurt... I was carrying three people on my joints... I was tired... I did get blisters and it was sore but soon 10 mins became 15 mins and I realised I was much further from the house that I'd been the previous week... I could walk to get the paper and back... NOTE: ONLY bring enough money for the paper! You will be surprised at how quickly you progress... last year I did the mini marathon... I had done it years ago and honestly never thought I would do it again... so it can be done... those aches and pains are worth the results... take that first baby step today as painful as it might be... x
I've taken up gambling!
so this week in class... THIS happened...
Nope, we haven't gone to the dark side of gambling (yet!) but my leader (who is AWESOME FYI!) got us all off our bums in class... marching on the spot, squatting just onto the chairs pulling in our tummy muscles, all sorts... Now I swim a lot and walk everyday if I can, but I know this time of year I could be doing a lot more in the way of exercise but in this weather I do actually believe I'm made of sugar and will dissolve.. Plus it's that cosy time of year when we put the fire on, boil the kettle and feet up complaining that there's nothing on the telly! So she set us a challenge to get us moving throughout the day and in the house during the ad breaks when we're watching the soaps, strictly, 'insert your fav programme here' and rather than sit on our bums! Everyone has a deck of cards at home (you can pick them up in ANY pound shop) so anyone can do this.... No excuses...
In class we chose a card from each suit and each one represented an exercise like so...
Hearts - march on the spot
Diamonds - sit ups
Clubs - star jumps
Spades - squats
You must do every exercise at least once a day according to the number on your card... So 10 of diamonds = 10 sit ups... 3 of clubs = 3 star jumps... 3 of hearts = 3 mins marching on the spot... Picture cards are 10, aces are high so 11 and if you pull the joker you have to do the other 3 suits twice...
I thought I lucked out with three queens at random and insisted on finding the fourth! Little did I know what each one meant! So for me this week it's 10 reps of each exercise every day and 10 mins marching on the spot... I'm already feeling the squats despite all my walking! Now if you're not able to do one of the exercises just substitute it for another one that you can do but it's such a good idea... leave the deck of cards in the kitchen and pull one out when you boil the kettle and off you go! You can march the spot in your slippers waiting for the kettle to boil, your moving your muscles and it's better than sitting on the couch for 10 mins! Next stop Vegas!
Start... just start...
Everyone took that first step... everyone felt that shame going through the door... everyone has had that feeling of dread... everyone thought ALL the eyes were boring into them, you know that voice in your head 'I bet they're all staring at the new girl' 'state of her'... 'god how did she get THAT big'... we've all got that voice... everyone panicked that they weren't wearing the right trainers / sports bra / t-shirt, yes I still wear my CURE t-shirt to the pool but I'm coming back into fashion again! We all panic that we're going to get some uber babe in a crop top telling us the blinding obvious 'You're fat...' and worse some Jillian wannabe who tries to make us sick with the fright of exercise... but it's never like that... The second time it's not so hard... the third time, you're into a little routine... by the time you're exercising a couple of weeks, you're walking in, nodding to the receptionist, you have 'your' locker... you park in the same spot and you're a regular... but you've got to make that first step... it doesn't have to be in a gym, you have a gym at home... we've all got stairs, tins of beans and a street outside... take that first walk... don't mind the neighbours, this is about YOU, your body and your health, the curtain twitchers should be out there with you! Ignore the people overtaking you in the park, good for them but you'll get there too at your pace... Ignore the people in the changing room and those on the treadmill... they had to walk through the door the first time too... and if you're doing what you're doing, they'll respect it... and honestly, most people really don't care... everyone is just doing their own thing and trust me, we're not as important as we think we are... Paranoia is just between our own ears!
I swim regularly because of my dodgy knee, and the treadmills from the gym overlook the pool...
tangent.. this is the only time I run.. from the changing room to the pool... I'm a national disaster waiting to happen when I slip.. and it will happen... eek!
One day as I was leaving, there was a man in the reception area waiting for his wife, she's in my aqua fit class ... as I nodded goodbye he said 'You did really well toady... 48 lengths...' I had to correct him because I do 50, but he could've been right what with the counting, breathing, trying not to drown palava... but he was counting me going up and down as he was walking... he said he usually counts peoples lengths because the music drives him mad and there's no TVs there and he forgets about how long he has left to do so he counts the people swimming in the pool... whatever it takes right!
There's another man who swims at the same speed as me and we sometimes share a lane... we speak a few words once a month but there's a mutual respect.. we're not going to Rio any time soon, but we're both working on our health, that's all we have in common... there are people walking up and down the pool, there are people storming past in the fast lane, there are people just doing exercises hanging onto the edge for dear life, but we've all got the same goal, get fitter! People just wanting to be better versions of themselves and that first step is the hardest part... but take it... you will only be improving your life every day x
It's not your door...
Ever feel like you're pushing and pushing and getting no where... maybe you're pushing the wrong door... sometimes you have to take a step back and look at what you've been doing and work out why it's not working for you... If ProPointing isn't the way... try Filling & Healthy... and vice versa... if you're not challenged by your exercise, do something different... I meet a man in my local park walking all the time... and one day he had changed direction... it was funny because I timed my laps on how quickly he got around the same circuit... this particular day he said.. 'I need more hills so I'm going backwards' and laughed heartily... The park I walk in is by no means 'hilly' but just by changing direction my walk was more challenging too... I have a long slow uphill as opposed to a quick steep incline and a long meander downhill...
Little things will change our journey... small little things that you might think make no difference can make all the difference...
Today look at what you're doing and change just one little thing it might make all the difference!
Apr 20, 2015 /
No comments
/
emotions,
exercise,
journey,
motivate,
motivation,
Motivation Monday,
PLANNING,
weight loss,
YOU
/
The Skinny Doll
Easter Challenge...
And we're off! I've caught some weigh-ins, please let me know if I've missed you! I've put your names in alphabetical order (roughly!)..
I had two anon people wanting to join, if you could comment again with a name I'll add you today...
Comment your loss below, I'll update this on Wednesday and paste it to my Facebook page... 6 weeks to go... 6 lbs lighter anyone? Think of it like this... It will be summer before we realise and if we put in the effort now.. we can all be nearly half a stone lighter by then! If you need to visualise that.. when you're in the supermarket this week... pick up 6 packs of butter... yup ... that!
Annnnnnnnd there's a surprise prize for the top three losers! so c'mon... who's with me?!
A blank chart below for anyone wanting to do it at home...
Feb 23, 2015 /
82 comments
/
challenge,
easter,
exercise,
goals,
holidays,
inspire,
motivation,
self esteem,
self worth,
silver seven,
Skinny Bunny,
weight loss,
Weight watchers,
YES YOU CAN!
/
The Skinny Doll
One foot in front of the other...
Time to set a goal... Now, I know some people have weddings... communions... jeans to get back into ... and all sorts of goals but try one of these... 5k... with your pals for a good cause! Over 40K women do the Dublin Mini Marathon every year, for all kinds of charities and it's great craic!
Pick one that's closest to your heart... sign up... if you're worried about doing it on your own don't be... I'll be lurking at a few of them and honestly I need a good training buddy! You'll be surrounded by fellow walkers who are up for fun and getting fitter more than beating Sonia O'Sullivans time! Remember, it's not the Olympics, so don't fret about it and most of us can walk 5k but challenge yourself... Maybe set a small goal for yourself... 'I'm going to walk this under 60 mins... 2 hours..' whatever and go for it... you'll feel so good after I promise!
I'm never going to be a runner... unless I'm on fire and running towards a half naked fireman holding a calorie free G&T, it ain't happening... my pals from bootcamp will vouch for this... I whinge the entire time about running but I know plenty of people who are addicted to it! But I'll be walking in a good few of these this year because I need something to focus on so I keep getting out for my walks so I don't need paramedics at the end of any of them!
It's just one foot in front of the other... and get competitive with your pals... you'll encourage each other... who ever clocks up the most miles on their pedometer doesn't pay for the cocktails at the end of it... there is cocktails right?!?! re-hydration and all...
Put on your trainers... open the front door and walk out... keep going for 10 mins... turn around... you have to come home! There's a 20min walk! DONE! If its raining bring a brolly... look at the country we live in... it rains all the time, it really shouldn't be a surprise! C'mon you get a medal!!!
Anyone wants to stomp the tarmac I'll be at some of them! I'm not fast, I'll chat the entire way around but if someone feels they can't do it for what ever reason... just shout out, I bet someone reading this will want a walking buddy too! I'm overweight, slow and probably gonna be the last to cross the line but at least I'll do it! AND with a smile on my face!
Pick one that's closest to your heart... sign up... if you're worried about doing it on your own don't be... I'll be lurking at a few of them and honestly I need a good training buddy! You'll be surrounded by fellow walkers who are up for fun and getting fitter more than beating Sonia O'Sullivans time! Remember, it's not the Olympics, so don't fret about it and most of us can walk 5k but challenge yourself... Maybe set a small goal for yourself... 'I'm going to walk this under 60 mins... 2 hours..' whatever and go for it... you'll feel so good after I promise!
I'm never going to be a runner... unless I'm on fire and running towards a half naked fireman holding a calorie free G&T, it ain't happening... my pals from bootcamp will vouch for this... I whinge the entire time about running but I know plenty of people who are addicted to it! But I'll be walking in a good few of these this year because I need something to focus on so I keep getting out for my walks so I don't need paramedics at the end of any of them!
It's just one foot in front of the other... and get competitive with your pals... you'll encourage each other... who ever clocks up the most miles on their pedometer doesn't pay for the cocktails at the end of it... there is cocktails right?!?! re-hydration and all...
Put on your trainers... open the front door and walk out... keep going for 10 mins... turn around... you have to come home! There's a 20min walk! DONE! If its raining bring a brolly... look at the country we live in... it rains all the time, it really shouldn't be a surprise! C'mon you get a medal!!!
Anyone wants to stomp the tarmac I'll be at some of them! I'm not fast, I'll chat the entire way around but if someone feels they can't do it for what ever reason... just shout out, I bet someone reading this will want a walking buddy too! I'm overweight, slow and probably gonna be the last to cross the line but at least I'll do it! AND with a smile on my face!
A charity close to my heart, Pieta House Darkness into Light Walk is on Saturday the 9th of May a fantastic cause to raise awareness of suicide and depression in Ireland... it's all about hope... http://dil.pieta.ie
A charity close to my boobs... The Great Pink Run is provisionally set for Saturday 29th of August and its brilliant! I stomped it out at my own pace plus you get to wear pink! There are some particularly fetching men in tutus running this!
ALSO check out http://www.pinkribbonwalk.ie for local walks around the country...
Run or Dye I mean seriously... channel your inner hippy... wear white and have a blast, in full blow colour! Registration is open for Galway on 12th of September! Dublin date to be announced! Mr Q are you reading this?!?! http://www.runordye.co.uk
Others to check out...
The Great Limerick Run which has a 6 mile course... http://www.greatlimerickrun.com
The Pink Ribbon Walks http://www.pinkribbonwalk.ie around the country...
And of course the Dublin Mini Marathon! http://www.vhiwomensminimarathon.ie
If you know of any more, please comment below and we'll all get moving!
Feb 4, 2015 /
4 comments
/
challenge,
energy,
exercise,
feelings,
fitness,
fun,
goals,
Great Pink Run,
healthy,
keep fit,
motivation,
moving,
Smarter goals,
success
/
The Skinny Doll
Some common sense... Monday Motivation!
Just a little FYI this cold Monday morning...
You didn't go to bed last night and wake up 2 stone heavier... You won't wake up tomorrow 2 stone lighter, damn it... So be realistic! 1-2 lbs a week is a healthy way to lose weight, any more is a bonus... add in a little extra walk into your day, take the stairs, have a boogie in the kitchen, do squats when you're doing laundry... a little exercise here and there all adds up!
Oct 13, 2014 /
4 comments
/
Attitude,
emotions,
energy,
exercise,
fitness,
goals,
motivation,
Motivation Monday,
self esteem,
self worth
/
The Skinny Doll
Yes... Yes you should!
Just a little graph to clear up the 'Should I work out today?' queries!
Go out and kick ass!
Happy Monday x
Oct 6, 2014 /
2 comments
/
Attitude,
emotions,
exercise,
fitness,
keep fit,
motivation,
Motivation Monday,
YOU
/
The Skinny Doll
Tomorrow... tomorrow... I love ya...
You totally sang that....
Tomorrow is a wonderful place isn't it... housework will be done... filing will be done... diets start.... junk food ends.. it's only a fabulous day... but if you put off starting to exercise until the time is right, you'll never reach your fitness goals... There is NEVER a right time... EVER!
Q. When is the best time to start exercising?
Monday morning?
New Year's Day?
The beginning of the month?
After your holidays?
When you can afford a gym membership?
All tried and tested excuses... you heard me...
A. The best time to start exercising is NOW.
If you keep waiting for the perfect time to start working out, or for the ideal time to change our eating habits, we risk procrastinating and waiting for a time that may never come.
We're all busy... and there's never be a perfect time to start...
If you want to achieve your goals... start now...
Sep 11, 2014 /
No comments
/
comfort zone,
energy,
exercise,
health,
inspiration,
keep fit,
motivation,
moving,
personal goals,
routine,
self esteem,
weight loss
/
The Skinny Doll
Think Pink!
http://www.greatpinkrun.ie
The above link is all you need for this post... on the 30th of August, when everyone is thinking... 'Summer is over...' 'back to school...' moan and groan... well, send it out the summer with a bang!
The great pink run is brilliant... I've done it and loved every second... the craic before and after was excellent! The support and camaraderie is epic! Plus... there's a prize for best dressed! AND its all about PINK!!! I mean seriously it's like it's made for me!
Little people, fluffy four legged people, even grumpy old people are all welcome...
and there's nothing prettier than a man in pink plaits!
10km for the running types, there's a Sonia O'Sullivan challenge on the site for the speedsters and 5km for the walkers/fun runners... Eleven weeks to go... so get a few bob from work, school, uni... have a bake sale.. coffee morning... a euro a kilometre from the family and you'll be supporting Breast Cancer Ireland to boot...

Jun 13, 2014 /
No comments
/
challenge,
exercise,
fun,
Great Pink Run,
lbloggers,
lifestyle,
livin' doll,
self esteem,
self worth,
success,
summer
/
The Skinny Doll
Mini Marathon Motivation!!!
Today is Mini Marathon day!!!
For my readers from afar, today in Dublin 40,000 women, and a few very pretty lads in tutus, make up and wigs... will walk, run or jog 10km for many Irish charities...
You will need no more motivation than watching the news this evening or if you can, getting down to cheer them on and challenging yourself to do it next year!
Breast cancer research, animal charities, children's hospitals you name it... they'll be out in force today... donning their t-shirts to raise much needed funds in tough times like this and if, like me, you can't do it, you can support it! Plenty of charities you can dish €5, €10 or €20 to...
So... to all the other fabulous gals I know, who have been training so hard and have been raising funds for amazing causes... a big thank you and I'm very proud of you all... to those running for personal bests, I have my fingers and toes crossed and have great faith in you! I'll be applauding from the sidelines!
It's a wonderful event for wonderful causes... and next year I'll be down at the start line with you!
Jun 2, 2014 /
No comments
/
challenge,
energy,
exercise,
goal,
mini marathon,
personal goals,
YOU
/
The Skinny Doll
Darkness into light...
At 3am this morning I was making pancake batter … Not my usual 3am snack choice when I’m raiding the fridge … but tonight no one was falling home… tonight we were revving up to walk for someone special… runners were donned… hoodies on.. a lick of lip balm to finish off the look …
This morning I walked with my loved ones for Pieta House… The Darkness into Light 5k… when we got to Bray strand … there was already a buzz… the rain had stopped… the sound of waves crashing just made you breathe deep and soak up the salty air… and the mood was very special… positive… talking to strangers with their stories at the start and finish… that acknowledging nod... everyone was there for a reason... everyone understood... smiling at the jack russells being carried up the hill cause their legs were too short… the runners, the walkers, the joggers… the dogs… the kids… all crossing the line with one thought on their mind … never forget there’s always light at the end of tunnel… regardless of whether you have lost someone to suicide … the 80,000 Irish both here and in London and Sydney were doing something good... reminding the world that suicide isn't a dirty word...
I did this walk for three reasons…
Firstly my family has been effected by suicide… to be fair there isn’t a family in Ireland who hasn’t been touched by it… and being your typical big Irish family with the majority in construction and engineering we were bound to be touched by it … My mum is the eldest of 12… my dad in the middle of 10… I have 64 cousins last count… and we learned the hard way to hound people to talk to each other… or talk to someone… when I see someone I love down in the dumps I make them talk to me… if you’re a regular here you’ll know I’m a chatterbox… I’ve told them some of my deepest secrets, so they know they can spill and know I won’t tell a soul… I’ve coughed up the cash for counsellors so ‘mam will never know’ but at least they can talk to someone about it, if they can’t tell me… but we are always on constant alert with a family full of young people in times like these…
Secondly, in my close group of friends… I know people who have lost a dad, sister, brother, cousin, best friend, soul mate and son… I’m not related to them but I know how they feel… and there really are no words… but this little walk lets them know I get it… and I love them…
My third reason for walking… Neil Gordon James… Neil was my best friend in Uni… people always said we’d make a great couple, many often asked if we were but we were just too busy being best friends to ever start a romance… we did make a pinky promise that if we both hit 40 and hadn’t met ‘the one’ we’d hook up and have beautiful tall blonde haired children with a cheeky Irish sense of humour who would be great at life drawing… I sorted out his veruccas and when he asked for the ‘truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth’ about periods… I let him have it.. he walked out of the room green in the face but with a huge amount of respect for women! I loved him… perhaps the fact we were both only children gave us such a close bond, we were the long lost siblings that we never had… he cheered me up with just his smile… he was 6’5 and so skinny it wasn’t fair… we pulled all nighters when dissertations needed to be handed in… got drunk and hungover together so many times I couldn’t even count… he always left a toasted tea cake on my desk when I was PMT’d… I usually growled at him … he was one of the good eggs in life…
In third year, he failed his exams… had to repeat them in the summer… and whilst I scamped off to Greece to do bar work* for 3 months .. *sunbathe and chase boys … he was studying… I couldn’t wait to get back to show him my tan and revel in the stories of dodgy greeks and making up cocktails for the locals because we really hadn’t a clue what we were doing! That first day back I met him at registration… I ran to him threw my arms around him and squealed! I missed my best friend and his curly hair… I wafted about in a white cotton top to show off the tan and was wearing green levis… I fit into levis back then… sigh… he was so full of beans… we spent the afternoon catching up on the grass outside… That night our gang had decided since the grants were in, we’d have a sit down meal in a ‘proper’ Chinese restaurant! It is crystal clear in my head… we laughed so much… everyone had holiday stories … and we were so looking forward to being in 4th year… we were finally there… and it was all ahead of us… we were young, free, in college and had another year before we had to face the real world but we were finding our place …
That night he walked me home, arms linked .. tipsy but happy… I told him to crash in mine… strangely he still hadn’t sorted out his accommodation … he had often stayed over and often stayed with the lads… so I thought nothing of it… I kissed him good night and skipped inside … I was the last person to see him alive… It was the first time I was touched by suicide…
I have run that sequence over and over in my head… What did I miss? Why didn’t he talk to me? My moods went from anger to sadness… was I such a bad friend that he couldn’t tell me what was wrong? Surely after everything we’d been through as friends he could talk to me about anything? I was so angry with him… how could he be so selfish! Had I been blabbing so much about me and my holidays that he couldn’t get a work in edge ways? I felt guilty… Why that night? Why not during the summer? Why? Why? Why?
Turns out my friend loved me so much he waited till I got back so he could say good bye to me before he decided to take his life… He just couldn’t cope and no one had a clue… That happy giggling boy in the Chinese was falling apart inside... The days that followed are a haze of police interviews, the college chaplin getting an earful, identifying his body and my parents flying over to be with me… It wasn’t till I saw my dad in Heathrow airport I properly fell apart… My dad is my hero… surely he could explain why? Right? How could my best friend do this? Dad would have the answer… and for the first time in my life… he didn’t…
We had our first assembly as 4th years the following week, I ran out at the first mention his name… college and life would never be the same again… I think of him often… when I hear another life has been lost to suicide, he is one of the ones who pops into my head… What kind of man would he be now? Would he be married? How many of those tall blonde haired children would he have had? Would he have followed his dreams? Found a girl worthy enough in my eyes? Would we have drifted apart? We’ll never know… and if you google his name… nothing comes up… it’s like he never was…
Neil had put himself in a place where he thought there was no alternative… and no one can blame themselves for someone taking their own life… it took me a while to understand that … and even if I HAD known, he was going to go through with it… it was meticulously planned… he knew exactly who would find him and where… but sometimes people just cannot cope… sometimes the alternative of living is just too much and they can’t see a way out, no matter what you say… and sometimes they genuinely believe that if they weren’t around, life would be easier for their loved ones… it has been nothing but a lifetime of sadness for Neils family…
The only advice I can offer… is be there and talk.. talk and listen… no subject is taboo… nothing in this world is so ridiculous that you can’t whisper it over a cup of tea and find the solution… a friend of mine has a system where his kids to write down their problems and leave it in his coat pocket, they don’t have to say it out loud and feel stupid or ashamed… he reads them… points them in the right direction …. destroys the evidence and never speaks of it again… it works for them…
Our family probably give too much information now… I’ll get a txt is someone bangs their toe… but if it means we’re in each others pockets… so be it… I’m ‘annoying’, ‘interfering’ and ‘nosey’ but I never want to experience it again and I want them to know there’s always an alternative … and secretly, they’re grateful … they can jump on the bus and hang out in my house and rant and rave until they calm down or at least until 'mam calms down'… a better alternative in my opinion even if they eat me out of house and home…
As we crossed the line this morning on Bray strand … there was a calm and moving atmosphere… my family walked in Kilkenny and Sydney… my friends in Malahide and the Phoenix Park… I knew people guiding the light in Limerick, Waterford and Cork... at 4:15am… we all had someone we love on our mind and showed the world that there is light at the end of the tunnel… and its ok to be scared… that people are there for you… and that suicide isn't a dirty word...
Today give someone a big hug… let them know you’re there… for the good and the bad… and tell them that they mean the world to you… because sometimes they need to hear it...
I did this walk for three reasons…
Sunrise on Bray Strand 4:15
Firstly my family has been effected by suicide… to be fair there isn’t a family in Ireland who hasn’t been touched by it… and being your typical big Irish family with the majority in construction and engineering we were bound to be touched by it … My mum is the eldest of 12… my dad in the middle of 10… I have 64 cousins last count… and we learned the hard way to hound people to talk to each other… or talk to someone… when I see someone I love down in the dumps I make them talk to me… if you’re a regular here you’ll know I’m a chatterbox… I’ve told them some of my deepest secrets, so they know they can spill and know I won’t tell a soul… I’ve coughed up the cash for counsellors so ‘mam will never know’ but at least they can talk to someone about it, if they can’t tell me… but we are always on constant alert with a family full of young people in times like these…
In third year, he failed his exams… had to repeat them in the summer… and whilst I scamped off to Greece to do bar work* for 3 months .. *sunbathe and chase boys … he was studying… I couldn’t wait to get back to show him my tan and revel in the stories of dodgy greeks and making up cocktails for the locals because we really hadn’t a clue what we were doing! That first day back I met him at registration… I ran to him threw my arms around him and squealed! I missed my best friend and his curly hair… I wafted about in a white cotton top to show off the tan and was wearing green levis… I fit into levis back then… sigh… he was so full of beans… we spent the afternoon catching up on the grass outside… That night our gang had decided since the grants were in, we’d have a sit down meal in a ‘proper’ Chinese restaurant! It is crystal clear in my head… we laughed so much… everyone had holiday stories … and we were so looking forward to being in 4th year… we were finally there… and it was all ahead of us… we were young, free, in college and had another year before we had to face the real world but we were finding our place …
Neil had put himself in a place where he thought there was no alternative… and no one can blame themselves for someone taking their own life… it took me a while to understand that … and even if I HAD known, he was going to go through with it… it was meticulously planned… he knew exactly who would find him and where… but sometimes people just cannot cope… sometimes the alternative of living is just too much and they can’t see a way out, no matter what you say… and sometimes they genuinely believe that if they weren’t around, life would be easier for their loved ones… it has been nothing but a lifetime of sadness for Neils family…
The only advice I can offer… is be there and talk.. talk and listen… no subject is taboo… nothing in this world is so ridiculous that you can’t whisper it over a cup of tea and find the solution… a friend of mine has a system where his kids to write down their problems and leave it in his coat pocket, they don’t have to say it out loud and feel stupid or ashamed… he reads them… points them in the right direction …. destroys the evidence and never speaks of it again… it works for them…
Our family probably give too much information now… I’ll get a txt is someone bangs their toe… but if it means we’re in each others pockets… so be it… I’m ‘annoying’, ‘interfering’ and ‘nosey’ but I never want to experience it again and I want them to know there’s always an alternative … and secretly, they’re grateful … they can jump on the bus and hang out in my house and rant and rave until they calm down or at least until 'mam calms down'… a better alternative in my opinion even if they eat me out of house and home…
Today give someone a big hug… let them know you’re there… for the good and the bad… and tell them that they mean the world to you… because sometimes they need to hear it...
May 10, 2014 /
9 comments
/
emotions,
exercise,
family,
irishbloggers,
lbloggers,
lifestylebloggers,
mental health,
motivation,
moving,
Pieta House,
thankful,
worth,
YOU
/
The Skinny Doll
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Blog Awards








