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You say it best...



I just watched Amy Schumer being interviewed by a radio station in Melbourne for her new movie...  (just google 'Amy Melbourne KIIS interview' you'll get it!), in which one of the presenters clearly offends Amy by his comments on her new movie, and she called him out on it... It got me thinking about how you react to negativity... and it comes it ALL shapes and forms... but your reaction will have an impact on you... and how you feel about you... and no one has the right to make you feel bad just by going about your day... Life is hard enough...

A jealous sibling, a parent who doesn't get it.. a friend who thinks 'you're GRAND the way you are...' Sometimes it's the people you least expect... It also comes from a strangers... I've had my fair share of comments from random stranger who believe they have a right to comment on me as I go about my day being a good citizen of the world... honestly with 8.5 stone gone and another 6+ to go I was BIG girl... but it didn't mean I should be a target for abuse.. and I was... I still am... kids just say what they like, 'look at that HUGE lady over there' ... they're hurtful little feckers who think they're funny but are easily put into place... They're mean to each other, tall kids, short kids you name it... once someone is 'different' or not they're version of 'normal' then they're fair game... we all remember the bullies in school... it's up to the parents to nip that in the bud!

Old people, the same... 'during the war we didn't have enough food to get that fat...' Followed but the killer 'but you're doing so well... such a pretty face...' Next time bring in our own wheelie bin lady!

Now before you think I'm going around shouting abuse at the children and elderly, I'm not... but I no longer believe in ignoring comments aimed at me... if I'm fair game, so is the next person they meet... If I'm the person to put a stop to them then I'll wear that t-shirt with pride! Like I said, if someone, anyone, is prepared to make a comment about me and how I look, then they must expect a response... Here's a few that I have perfected... feel free to use them when you need em!

Excuse me, but did you actually just say that? 
This one shames the shamer... and I'm not about making other people feel bad but a taste of their own medicine really doesn't hurt... plus if you've got the cahoonas to say something then you should be able to stand by it and explain it...  so question them... stop dead and look em in the eye and say it... watch em squirm...

So sorry I wasn't listening... Could you repeat that please? 
I love this one... being a bully isn't so funny the second time around... especially if it was said for effect... if they're playing to the crowd, the crowd doesn't laugh so hard at the same joke twice... you'll find a lot of mumbling when you do this... just end it with an 'I thought as much...'

You don't really expect me to answer that do you?
The higher road beckons you... just let them know that's where you'll be! With humans who have IQs higher than goldfish...

I really don't know how to answer that... 
This one comes after the 'death stare' ... look at them... tilt your head... a la Amy... ponder for a moment... THEN say it... practice it, it's VERY empowering!

Right...
This is all in the pronunciation... 'RIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT...' follow it up with a little sigh... end it with a ...

Whatever you say...
This screams of 'I just don't have the time, energy or inclination for you right now...' 'Unlike you I've got too much to do and TOO little time to do it!'

You're kidding, right?!? hold on... you ARE kidding, right?
I may recall I used this technique to give some helpful tips to some taxi drivers... >>> HERE <<<

Yup, I think we've reached the end of this conversation..
Ouch! Did you mean to be that rude?!
I think that was a bit rude.. 
All winners... call it like it is... 

I'm actually offended by that comment... 
Depends on who said it, this is for someone you know, your nearest and dearest can sometimes be the most hurtful, thinking they're 'helping' but you need to remind them you're not a personal project and you have feelings too!

I'm sure you didn't MEAN for that question/comment to be 
rude/ intrusive/inappropriate, but that's how it sounded
These are good for the oldies... I think there is a generation out there who just think it's OK to say anything cause they're old... they also think they can park anywhere and get away with it... but that's a WHOLE other post!

Help me understand why you think that was an appropriate thing to say - 
and why you think I should answer you
The 'kill em with kindness' response... Head tilt... Sad eyes... 'teach me oh wise one...'
'I just want to help you to heal' tone - think Miss America Pageant

Thank you.. we're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view... 

If in doubt... in your poshest accent... 
My apologies... I don't speak English... 


No one has the right to make you feel bad... and if you call them out on it, you may just spare someone else feeling miserable in the future... plus, you'll feel SO empowered... bullies don't know where you've been, how much you've lost, how hard it can be... they see an easy target and most think they can get away with it, and usually they do... not anymore folks... not any more! 





3 comments

  1. I wish I'd read this a year ago. Great post.

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  2. Love your cool calm confidence, gonna show this to my fourteen year old who often had to deal with her peers having a pop at her.xx

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  3. I do like it. I am an oul softie and tend to avoid confrontation. But youare right here. People like to be mean to someone who might allow them where others won't. And it's a skill that requires practise to say you refuse to be their scapegoat for frustration and ignorance.

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