Instagram Feed


This has been a major concern of mine ... and this has happened with previous weight loss attempts .. is sabotage. People who really don't want you to lose weight... why? Whats the motive behind it? I'm finding out that people who I respect and admire are in on the act and I can't understand why? Is it a jealousy thing? Is being the fat friend really compulsory? are they happy that they've got me in a niche in their lives and now are afraid that my personality will change? I won't be the funny, jolly friend to stand outside changing rooms reassuring them of their looks? Its quite extraordinary and totally surprising. And its the people I suspected the least! People with a lot of weight to lose themselves... who should understand! I suppose once I address my problem its going to make them face THEIRS! If I change then they will have to face up to their situation... Is it a case of having to move on without them? To stand up and fight the fight and to hell with them? I'm really unsettled by this. Its brought up flaws in characters which I didn't even know existed. There will be more investigation into this... I'm saddened by the reactions of some..

Weigh in #5

Down -0.5lbs

Spirulina Smoothie - consisting of apple juice, banana and spirulina.. SO yum!

The Rules for making friends!

I always thought.. no matter how many friends I had in my life.. there was always room for more. But recently I've learned that lesson - Some people come into our lives and quickly go, Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts... and we are never, ever the same. Old friends are to be cherished but as the years go by I find myself out of step with them... but rather than agonise abut WHY friends who move away, lose touch...I've come to see ... its not personal.. its not a reflection of what kind of person I am... life is busy ... and it takes two friends to make a friendship and this has been my mistake in the past... giving 100% to people who don't give anything back.. and when I really need a friend they're not there for me.. I've been bullied and bossed about by people who are too selfish... it wasn't a two way street... I've always been the gal to say.. "I don't mind" or "its up to you".. and people have taken advantage of that goodness in my nature... but now I'm focusing that energy into finding new friends and I'm finding the desire for friendship comes quickly yet friendship doesn't... and we all know quick infatuations can go horribly wrong! New friends are great in the beginning.. its like a relationship... and that's because there's point of conflict .. YET! This is where the experience of GOOD friendships comes to task.. if a friendship is to last.. you have to learn how to disagree.... even argue! My new mantra is ... friends are the bacon bits in the salad bowl of life... LOL

Getting the buzz...

I'm doing some research on how to get that "feel good" effect .. you know those endorphins that go racing about and make you feel fabulous dahhhhling!!! I've so far narrowed it down to 5 things...

1. I find when I think about someone I love/like/admire I just can't help but smile.. and it really does work... this also works when I'm DOING something I love.... I find that when I'm working on a project that I love... my attitude to EVERYTHING changes.. if I focus on positive things and people everyday.. I start to lead a positive life.. it kinda snowballs...

2. TAKE A NAP - now I was never a big fan the NAP... even back in the 80s when they were all about resting your shoulder pads! BUT I'm finding that even 5 minutes just breathing and closing my eyes seem to be enough to set my frame of mind back on track! try it!

3. I hate repeating it.. but damn it it works.. flippin exercise!!! try it.. leave the house ... walk out the door and walk for 10 minutes... then turn around and walk back... you'll feel so much better... sigh.. don't you hate it when mother is always right!!!

4. Get back to nature... now we can't all start playing Tarzan and Jane.. but even 5 minutes in the garden... OUTSIDE!!! can reset your brain from frazzle to dazzle! Have lunch in the park tomorrow.. you'll notice a huge difference in your afternoon.. its like its meant to be!

5. (AND THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE!!!) Give yourself a break... treat yourself well and your body will thank you for it. Sometimes we spend so much time focusing on caring for others and everyone elses' needs that we neglect ourselves .. if you're always putting yourself last.. then you're always going to feel like you can never win the race... do it for you!

Now let those endorphins work baby!!!

Weigh in #4

Down 4lbs!!!

The personality detective!

Your personal strengths are the "back door" to your happiness... and by strengths I mean those things you are naturally good at and which energise you and help you perform at your best. So, for example.. you may flourish when you are using your natural curiosity or your capacity for creativity. People who identify and use their strengths are happier and less depressed.

So when you come upon a hurdle.. or a setback... its your strengths that you need to propel you forward! So ask yourself.. whats my strength? and how can I use it to my advantage today!?

We've all got strengths... we just gotta use em right!

Doll x

Weigh in #3

Down 1.5lbs!!!

The 3 "D's" of dieting....

Years ago, if somebody had told me I would end up morbidly obese with spare tyres, yes plural, bingo wings I would have eaten my ra-ra skirt .. but as a seasonal yo-yo dieter, my weight has fluctuated so much I have almost every Monday in my life started a new diet.

Its that time of the year when like many I wished I had lost more weight over the summer but I've narrowed the hold up to 3 negative thoughts that seem to haunt me. Defensiveness, depression and despair. Like may seasonal dieters, I am trapped in the vicious thought process and I'm trying to break the pattern.

My defensiveness kicks in when people comment on my figure! I jump straight onto the "I've got PCOS THAT'S why I'm over weight!!!!" nothing to do with the pastries or pringles!!! I've also relied heavily on the "grown women look better with a bit of padding" line! Now I'm told that people who are defensive about their weight and dieting are tackling both themselves and others. Others by using the excuses about.. and themselves by self-sabotage for example... "I don't smoke/drink so I this is my treat/I deserve it". The only way I can see out of this one is to keep my weight loss efforts to myself and only tell those who you know will support you. If there are demons in the belfry, and lets face it who doesn't, then its best to not acknowledge them and stay true and focused to yourself. It is MY journey...

Depression is one that I have suffered from. In those rare moments when I snap to it.. I know... I don't have some rare medical condition that drives me to the chipsticks! I know the remedy, the formula ... eat less, exercise more, but that seems to send me to an even deeper level of depression at times and we all know what it drives us to... FOOD! My solution to this is to forgive myself.. I'm gonna slip! I'm human... the key is not to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Tomorrow, not next Monday, is a new day .. always!

Finally despair .... those weeks when I've been SOoooo good... I march up to those scales and hop.. nay.. LEAP.. with the confidence that I only wish I could carry with me in everyday life.. yet... nothing.. nada.. nowt! not an ounce! The inner Doll screams "HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE!?!?!?!" I have lost count of the number of times this has happened to me... She (the inner Doll) then develops an attitude problem.. "well if I can't lose weight when I've been eating lettuce all week then I might as well have chicken wings and WITH the dressing and I'll see you in Bad habit city! If I'm gonna be miserable here I might as well be fat and happy damn it" (inner Doll swears like a trooper! ahem!) Now the problem here lies in my unrealistic goals.. you know.. the "I've been so good I'm bound to have lost 5 lbs this week!" then being gutted when I'm ONLY down 2 ... Also on these starvation weeks I'm probably messing up my metabolism so much that I'm even confusing myself .. so maybe the trick is to eat slower, chew longer, drink more water and not be so tough on myself.... its a journey not a race.. I just need to respect my body, listen to it and reward it in ways that will make the journey better..

Doll x

Is it time to do what the skinny people do?

Maybe this is where I'm going wrong? Maybe I should be following the skinnies... clearly the path I've taken hasn't worked!! Skinny people eat lots of fruit, fish, veg poultry - Asians for example. Dancers and athletes keep moving! Our grandparents had less TV, no computers(!) no fast food, no PROCESSED food and no diets! Just three meals a day and spent their time outside enjoying the world. Vegans are skinny ... they eat raw... I mean ANIMALS aren't overweight! They know when to stop! and only eat whats good for them! Its not complicated, its not a big deal, its not torturous.. just stop worrying about getting fat and start eating REAL food. Today I'm clearing out the pantry... and tonight for dinner I'm going to take care of my body and only put into it whats good for it.. not what my fat is making me crave for! My body is worth it and I deserve it. I'm taking it slowly step by step... one new habit at a time until it comes naturally. Then the next habit... I'll get there... I just know it.
Doll x

My path is blocked...

My path to contentment that is.... and I always thought it would be blocked by food... turns out my state of mind is holding the stop sign! There have been times when I've felt short changed by my weight problem, craving to be skinny in the misguided belief that once I was skinny I'd be happy.... sheesh! I read recently about a lottery winner in the UK who actually won the lottery twice and both times it ruined his life! (Seriously, I wouldn't mind trying it once though!!!) Happiness is as much about the attitude we bring to our lives as what happens in it.... The main cause for me being miserable ... isn't the situation... but my attitude towards it! Time to banish thoughts of "what ifs".. and "whens".. and make peace with what I do have... a loving family, great friends, a beautiful home, a sense of humour and interesting work ... time to focus on my health to improve an already great life. Time to stop pinning everything on BIG events.. "when i lose weight ... life will start!" .. time to start taking pleasure out of everyday and live life today in the now. Time to stop comparing myself to others and make peace with it all. Doll x


Stayed the same.

Total loss • -4.5lbs

Blog Awards