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The first time...



We all remember our first time right?! Our first kiss... our first job... our first day at school... for the record... 



... those daunting moments that you look back on now and think, 'what was all the fuss about?!' but these moments are landmarks in our lives... we don't look back on all of them fondly... the first time we lose someone we love, changes us forever... the first time our heart is broken, we question love and others so we never have to feel that hurt again... the first time someone we really trusted let us down... but all of these moments make us who we are... I'm not a very religious person... I'm a humanist of sorts... I believe if you are a good person then you will attract kind and good people... I truly believe in paying it forward... but sometimes people take advantage of that and you end up feeling a bit lost... 




Someone whom I adored but is sadly no longer with us, once told me 'be kind to everyone.. because everyone you see is going to lose everything they love...' I've never forgotten it... Everyone, all of us, are going to lose everything we hold dear... it's kinda scary but very liberating too... because once you get this... you start to focus on what and who really matters in the right now... 

Losing weight, includes a series of 'firsts' that can turn the journey into an adventure... 

The first time you step on the scales... that moment... the shame... the self loathing... the embarrassment... you've let it get out of control and now you're mortified that someone else on the planet knows that number... but you feel a hand on your shoulder from someone who's been there saying... 'that's the last time we'll ever see that number' and you kinda believe it...

The first loss... that moment when you thought 'well it wasn't that hard.. and if I can do it one week, I can do it again next week!' Self belief kicks in... 

The first stone you lose... that number on the scale... people who don't need to lose weight or don't struggle with an eating disorder or emotional eating won't get it... but for those of us who do... you want to stick your silver 7s on your forehead for the day saying 'oh these things?!? .. oh I lost a stone of FAT!' HELL YEAH!

The first dress size you lose... that belt notch going down... you still doubt yourself but you suddenly think.. well I'll need to buy some new stuff.. the first shopping trip that you will ENJOY! 

The first compliment... the 'you're looking well...' the 'have you lost a bit of weight? You look great!' ... now it's a goal that's achievable.. you realise CAN do it... 

The first gain... heartbreaking... but you tried, you did your best right?! or worse, you know you binged and lost the plot and thought you'd get away with it... did you let it spiral out of control? throw the card in the bin and give up? no way! 




The first time you notice your 'friends' attitude changing... they liked you the way you were... you were the fat friend... good old reliable miserable fatty... not this new fangled confident person who just says 'no thanks'! Don't worry about the back stabbers and the haters, the people who try the hardest finding fault in your life, are the people who aren't able to fix the faults in their own! For the record this one really hurts! 

The first saboteur... 'sure ONE slice of cake won't kill you...' No, no it won't but I can't have ONE slice! So you change your routine to avoid being around them and food at the same time! It's sad but if they can't support you then you need to make it clear that something has to change... 


The first 5k you do... I did my first by myself because I didn't want to 'hold anyone back' and honestly it was amazing! You'd swear I'd crossed the olympic line with all the drama *cue the chariots of fire music*... People flying past me doing the 10k circuit shouting encouraging words... one man even stopped to walk along with me for a minute, I could've kissed him! No idea who he is or where he was from but it meant SO much!

The first time strangers understand and support you... Boot camp ladies... I mean you! 

The first time you make a stir fry BETTER than the chinese... OK this takes a bit of practice but it's SO worth it!

The first time you realise.. you're just caring about you... and you matter... and that's OK...

The first time you get on a plane and the seat belt closes... FYI don't scream when that happens... they don't like that in planes! 

The first time you pull up those jeans past the thighs... and the first time the feckin things close!!! 

The first time you zip up those knee high boots all the way! Hallelujah! 



The first charity bag you have of clothes that are too big... 

The first time you really believe you can do it... and the end is in sight... 

The first time you look in the mirror and don't hate what's looking back at you... 

The first family outing, when people do a double take... FYI... THIS ONE IS AWESOME!

The first time someone comments on your new 'attitude'... oh yeah... 

The journey may be long... It's been coming up to 3 years so far for me... it's had it's ups and downs... but ultimately there's a new series of firsts on the horizon... 

First skydive, oh yeah that's happening... first trek abroad, hello Peru! Lots of other bucket list stuff to cross off now that I'm getting fitter and healthier... just remember... if you're starting today or you're halfway through or if you're just at goal... there's another amazing first waiting for you... and as the ad says.. you're worth it! 




6 comments

  1. Brilliant brilliant post Doll! Sky dive?! Peru?! OMG. Cannot wait for those posts :)

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  2. Fantastic post Doll - so motivating and inspiring! Thank you for sharing!! Can't wait for the blog from Peru either!!! :)

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  3. Love this, love you. I don't even think you know how much you help me. Thank you x

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  4. This is brilliant! I flashed back to all those times for me too and smiled! I've just signed up for my first 10K(I seem to have skipped the 5K... maybe I lost some of my marbles when I lost the weight :P ) so I'll get that first in June

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  5. Simply awesome post! Love it, and I've already read it several times. I think I'll be pulling it up every so often, just to keep going.

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