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Showing posts with label guilt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label guilt. Show all posts

The first time...



We all remember our first time right?! Our first kiss... our first job... our first day at school... for the record... 



... those daunting moments that you look back on now and think, 'what was all the fuss about?!' but these moments are landmarks in our lives... we don't look back on all of them fondly... the first time we lose someone we love, changes us forever... the first time our heart is broken, we question love and others so we never have to feel that hurt again... the first time someone we really trusted let us down... but all of these moments make us who we are... I'm not a very religious person... I'm a humanist of sorts... I believe if you are a good person then you will attract kind and good people... I truly believe in paying it forward... but sometimes people take advantage of that and you end up feeling a bit lost... 




Someone whom I adored but is sadly no longer with us, once told me 'be kind to everyone.. because everyone you see is going to lose everything they love...' I've never forgotten it... Everyone, all of us, are going to lose everything we hold dear... it's kinda scary but very liberating too... because once you get this... you start to focus on what and who really matters in the right now... 

Losing weight, includes a series of 'firsts' that can turn the journey into an adventure... 

The first time you step on the scales... that moment... the shame... the self loathing... the embarrassment... you've let it get out of control and now you're mortified that someone else on the planet knows that number... but you feel a hand on your shoulder from someone who's been there saying... 'that's the last time we'll ever see that number' and you kinda believe it...

The first loss... that moment when you thought 'well it wasn't that hard.. and if I can do it one week, I can do it again next week!' Self belief kicks in... 

The first stone you lose... that number on the scale... people who don't need to lose weight or don't struggle with an eating disorder or emotional eating won't get it... but for those of us who do... you want to stick your silver 7s on your forehead for the day saying 'oh these things?!? .. oh I lost a stone of FAT!' HELL YEAH!

The first dress size you lose... that belt notch going down... you still doubt yourself but you suddenly think.. well I'll need to buy some new stuff.. the first shopping trip that you will ENJOY! 

The first compliment... the 'you're looking well...' the 'have you lost a bit of weight? You look great!' ... now it's a goal that's achievable.. you realise CAN do it... 

The first gain... heartbreaking... but you tried, you did your best right?! or worse, you know you binged and lost the plot and thought you'd get away with it... did you let it spiral out of control? throw the card in the bin and give up? no way! 




The first time you notice your 'friends' attitude changing... they liked you the way you were... you were the fat friend... good old reliable miserable fatty... not this new fangled confident person who just says 'no thanks'! Don't worry about the back stabbers and the haters, the people who try the hardest finding fault in your life, are the people who aren't able to fix the faults in their own! For the record this one really hurts! 

The first saboteur... 'sure ONE slice of cake won't kill you...' No, no it won't but I can't have ONE slice! So you change your routine to avoid being around them and food at the same time! It's sad but if they can't support you then you need to make it clear that something has to change... 


The first 5k you do... I did my first by myself because I didn't want to 'hold anyone back' and honestly it was amazing! You'd swear I'd crossed the olympic line with all the drama *cue the chariots of fire music*... People flying past me doing the 10k circuit shouting encouraging words... one man even stopped to walk along with me for a minute, I could've kissed him! No idea who he is or where he was from but it meant SO much!

The first time strangers understand and support you... Boot camp ladies... I mean you! 

The first time you make a stir fry BETTER than the chinese... OK this takes a bit of practice but it's SO worth it!

The first time you realise.. you're just caring about you... and you matter... and that's OK...

The first time you get on a plane and the seat belt closes... FYI don't scream when that happens... they don't like that in planes! 

The first time you pull up those jeans past the thighs... and the first time the feckin things close!!! 

The first time you zip up those knee high boots all the way! Hallelujah! 



The first charity bag you have of clothes that are too big... 

The first time you really believe you can do it... and the end is in sight... 

The first time you look in the mirror and don't hate what's looking back at you... 

The first family outing, when people do a double take... FYI... THIS ONE IS AWESOME!

The first time someone comments on your new 'attitude'... oh yeah... 

The journey may be long... It's been coming up to 3 years so far for me... it's had it's ups and downs... but ultimately there's a new series of firsts on the horizon... 

First skydive, oh yeah that's happening... first trek abroad, hello Peru! Lots of other bucket list stuff to cross off now that I'm getting fitter and healthier... just remember... if you're starting today or you're halfway through or if you're just at goal... there's another amazing first waiting for you... and as the ad says.. you're worth it! 




Don't make resolutions...





Yep.. you read it right... don't do it... don't promise yourself you'll lose 5 stone by Paddys Day... don't pressure yourself by telling everyone you're going to the gym 5 times a week... You're giving up bread for the year... no... just no... 

Every year people make resolutions and end up feeling like crap when they can't keep up with them... if you already go to the gym 5 times a week and did so before Christmas then it's some thing you can already do... you don't need to put pressure on yourself because its a New Year... You can re-evaluate ... make healthier choices of course, but Easter will come with all the chocolate eggs, Bank Holidays will be here bringing BBQs and picnics outside (I'm optimist about the weather aren't I?!?!), Pancake Tuesday will arrive, with all the Nutella and before you know it we'll be back at Summer holidays and facing Christmas again, I'm not wishing my life away but life is too short... and life is to be lived... and making resolutions that aren't realistic just adds to the misery of the January blues... So here's my thinking... make a plan not a resolution... 


Promise yourself one thing and one thing only ... to be a better version of you... to be less stressed, feed your body better and be happy with who you are... these aren't resolutions... they're things you should be trying to do every day of the year... these are things your need to do everyday to be a better, happier and calmer person... 

Life will throw things at us in 2015... family get poorly, some of us will lose people we love, work will get on top of us... we'll struggle with money and not having enough time to do things, we'll feel down at certain times of the year and be miserable, just like every year ... those are the times that can make you lose focus on being healthier... you don't have the time or energy to treat yourself well, and you put yourself last on the list... we rush to get everything done for everyone else and our bodies suffer because of it... so this year instead of making a 'resolution' and then live in fear of breaking it and feeling lost when you realise you can't keep it up along with everything else... make a pact with yourself to look after you... and when you're at your best... everyone else benefits! A happier you.. means a happier person to be around and kicking yourself because you didn't make the gym 5 times doesn't help any one... throw in a little walk and get over yourself... you're still being kinder to you, and your family and friends will reap the benefits... 



Year after year I made resolutions, joined gyms, quit being any fun, only to fall at the first or second hurdle into a pancake in February! Then hating myself for being such a loser.. I was horrible and mean to myself... 'I'm useless'... 'I'm always going to be a failure'... 'what was the point, when I can't even last a month?!' and the cycle would continue...

It's not selfish to take time to look after yourself... to treat yourself... you become a nicer person to be around... so take your 10 mins to breathe, paint your nails or make that hair appointment... when you're so busy trying to take care of everyone else you can forget about you... So just try this mantra for the year ... 




Have wonderful New Year Celebrations wherever you may be... 
It's my favourite holiday of the year!!! 

and a sincere thank you to everyone who has been on here, reading, following, 
supporting and kicking my butt when I needed it! Thanks to all who did the challenges... 
I hope everyone enjoyed them as much as I did... 
and here's to a continued success for all in a healthier and happier 2015!


Bring it... Motivation Monday!

One of the worst things you can do when you're trying to lose weight is give up over one bad day / weekend / weigh-in... Learning how to draw a line and put it behind you is one of the hardest things... we give ourselves SUCH a hard time... 




Life is to be lived... going around miserable isn't part of the bigger plan! Did you have cake at the weekend? Did you enjoy it? Then don't be hard on yourself... we all have wobbles... we all lose the plot after the pub and head to the chipper... but its only when you give up that you fall back into old habits and struggle and feel tired and miserable that we need to get tough on ourselves... 

Here is a line... 


                         ____________________________________________________



Now step over it... and whats done is done, you can't change it and I hope you enjoyed every bit of it! 


And here's to a fresh start... planning and feeling well in your own skin and being kind to your body, so you can have another slice next week without all the guilt! 

Have a good week x





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