Wise... am I wise? I always thought that wisdom came with age.. but with me.. I'm thinkin' I was always an old head on young shoulders, someone more sensible with a twist of logic than WISE.. wisdom always seems very powerful to me, almost judgemental power... and I suppose the most sensible/powerful thing I did this year was to weed out the saboteurs from my life... there's still a couple of more to deal with but the main culprits are done and dusted...
Was it hard to do.? HELL yes... to face people and tell them that they were no good for me... when for the last few years they were just fine thank-you-very-much... it was very hard... but you see they didn't really have my best intentions at heart... it's all fun and games when Doll is there to pick up the pieces, share the cake, go for a walk but still have some ice-cream... but once I had made up my mind that it was time to change.. some people didn't like it much, in fact they went out of their way to be an obstacle in my weight loss path... once I had lost a little weight and they realised I meant it this time... they turned against me.... and it hurt... I suppose my eyes were opened to the fact that they were just being very very selfish, and as long as I fit into their plan, was at their beck and call and I was of use to them, then all was well... but if I decided to get a voice... do something without consulting them first or even knowing about it... all of a sudden I was left out of the loop... Am I better off? Yes. Do I miss them? Very much. Do they understand why I did what I had to do? Maybe not yet but my happiness has to come first not theirs, and my successes are as important, if not more so than theirs, and if they were happy to watch their friend slowly damage her health before their very eyes, then they would have wanted to jump on the wagon, tie me down and make sure that there was no way I would fall off, because that's what I would have done for them. I'm hoping that in time they will see what I did I did for me and they will be happy for me. Does it make me wise? Maybe on the learning curve of life ... yes!
No comments
Post a Comment