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Twas the night before Christmas...





A slight 'Doll' spin on the original...





T’was the night before Christmas, when all over the place...


There were mince pies and roses to stuff in my face…

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

Sadly they’re extra large, AGAIN this year… 





The family were nestled all snug in their beds, 

Avoiding the kitchen for a midnight spread… 

Whilst rolling off my spanx and loosening bra straps, 

I was just settling down for a sugar free nap... 




When out in the kitchen there arose such a clatter, 

I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter... 

Away to the pantry, I flew like a flash, 

Tore open the fridge door and checked on my stash… 




The marshmallows on the door, like new-fallen snow 

Sent thoughts of a binge to my belly below... 

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, 

But a marzipan Santa, and eight chocolate reindeer... 




A huge chunk of icing so luscious and slick, 

I knew in a moment, I’d probably be sick… 

The sweet-coated Santa, those sugared reindeer 

I closed my eyes tightly but still I could hear… 




"Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen! 

On, Comet! On, Cupid! On Donner and Blitzen! 

From the back of the cupboard, under the stairs in the hall… 

She’s got goodies hiding everywhere, we’re in for a ball!” 





I should have said no, resisted each bite… 

I fought the temptation with all of my might… 

The light from the fridge wasn't just a flirtation… 

The thought of a snack became infatuation… 





Dressed up in my bestest, sparkly red dress… 

Feeling a little tighter from too much excess… 

My mouth was still drooling, my ever increasing belly, 

shook when I laughed like a bowl full of jelly… 





And then, in a twinkling, I remembered the crisps… 

‘There’s dip in here somewhere’ I said licking my lips 

The peanuts, the pringles, the cheese and the crackers, 

Were pushing my mind far away from my tracker… 




I spoke not a word, but went straight to work, 

Ate all of the goodies… then turned with a jerk… 

And laying my hand, beside my heartburn, 

And shaking my head, up to bed I returned… 




I eased into bed, to the heavens I cried, 

If temptation was gone I’ll be skinny by and by… 

and I mumbled again as I turned for the night.. 

I’ll be good in the morning… till I take the first bite! 




I wish you all a very Happy Christmas… 

Be safe over the season, have a healthy and happy time 
with your loved ones, family and friends... xxx 










1 comment

  1. That was brilliant haha! xx
    fashionismyfirstlanguage.blogspot.ie

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