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Oct 17, 2010

The Rules for making friends!

I always thought.. no matter how many friends I had in my life.. there was always room for more. But recently I've learned that lesson - Some people come into our lives and quickly go, Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts... and we are never, ever the same. Old friends are to be cherished but as the years go by I find myself out of step with them... but rather than agonise abut WHY friends who move away, lose touch...I've come to see ... its not personal.. its not a reflection of what kind of person I am... life is busy ... and it takes two friends to make a friendship and this has been my mistake in the past... giving 100% to people who don't give anything back.. and when I really need a friend they're not there for me.. I've been bullied and bossed about by people who are too selfish... it wasn't a two way street... I've always been the gal to say.. "I don't mind" or "its up to you".. and people have taken advantage of that goodness in my nature... but now I'm focusing that energy into finding new friends and I'm finding the desire for friendship comes quickly yet friendship doesn't... and we all know quick infatuations can go horribly wrong! New friends are great in the beginning.. its like a relationship... and that's because there's point of conflict .. YET! This is where the experience of GOOD friendships comes to task.. if a friendship is to last.. you have to learn how to disagree.... even argue! My new mantra is ... friends are the bacon bits in the salad bowl of life... LOL


  1. Friendship...I could probably write a book on this subject. I've had people (friends) come in and out of my life throughout the years. There's always those have left, as you mentioned, 'footprints' on my heart. I've lost what I thought were real friends but looking back - they were definitely not true friends. I've been through a LOT with a couple different friends but those are the true friendships because even through the good and the bad we've stuck by each others sides. I love your new mantra :-)

  2. I was in the same boat Skinny Doll - I lost a lot of friends when I went through the darkest period of my life for 2 solid years... I pushed people away (because i didnt understand what was happening to me whilst i had post natal depression)and people pushed me away (because they didnt want to know about it)... but i think i needed to be alone and pull myself through that harrowing time to see how strong i was - i emotional ate along the way to come to this point of being back on track again and being me and happy, i have made new lovely friends which have been through the tears and happiness with me... and also to have finally bonded with my daughter (which is probably the most important thing to me and let go of the guilt. And i have asked the ones that I have pushed away for forgiveness to understand that wasnt me.. and I have let the ones who walked away from me go... i know i also can do things on my own now becos before i was dependent on people - it feels so good to know i can go to the park and read on my own, to go the cinema on my own and be with my daughter on my own... xxx

    1. It's great news that you've bonded with your daughter.. friendship can be a tricky one.. especially as we get older.. its not like school when everyone was in the same boat and you could have a new best friend every day... life throws us curve balls and sometimes the people we thought would be on our side.. just aren't and it can really surprise us... and I've found that unless you love yourself.. no one else is going to bother loving you either.. and its not selfish, as I used to always think to take care of yourself first.. its about living the best life you can.. for you and your loved ones and everyone deserves that ... xxx