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Oct 6, 2010

The 3 "D's" of dieting....

Years ago, if somebody had told me I would end up morbidly obese with spare tyres, yes plural, bingo wings I would have eaten my ra-ra skirt .. but as a seasonal yo-yo dieter, my weight has fluctuated so much I have almost every Monday in my life started a new diet.

Its that time of the year when like many I wished I had lost more weight over the summer but I've narrowed the hold up to 3 negative thoughts that seem to haunt me. Defensiveness, depression and despair. Like may seasonal dieters, I am trapped in the vicious thought process and I'm trying to break the pattern.

My defensiveness kicks in when people comment on my figure! I jump straight onto the "I've got PCOS THAT'S why I'm over weight!!!!" nothing to do with the pastries or pringles!!! I've also relied heavily on the "grown women look better with a bit of padding" line! Now I'm told that people who are defensive about their weight and dieting are tackling both themselves and others. Others by using the excuses about.. and themselves by self-sabotage for example... "I don't smoke/drink so I this is my treat/I deserve it". The only way I can see out of this one is to keep my weight loss efforts to myself and only tell those who you know will support you. If there are demons in the belfry, and lets face it who doesn't, then its best to not acknowledge them and stay true and focused to yourself. It is MY journey...

Depression is one that I have suffered from. In those rare moments when I snap to it.. I know... I don't have some rare medical condition that drives me to the chipsticks! I know the remedy, the formula ... eat less, exercise more, but that seems to send me to an even deeper level of depression at times and we all know what it drives us to... FOOD! My solution to this is to forgive myself.. I'm gonna slip! I'm human... the key is not to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Tomorrow, not next Monday, is a new day .. always!

Finally despair .... those weeks when I've been SOoooo good... I march up to those scales and hop.. nay.. LEAP.. with the confidence that I only wish I could carry with me in everyday life.. yet... nothing.. nada.. nowt! not an ounce! The inner Doll screams "HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE!?!?!?!" I have lost count of the number of times this has happened to me... She (the inner Doll) then develops an attitude problem.. "well if I can't lose weight when I've been eating lettuce all week then I might as well have chicken wings and WITH the dressing and I'll see you in Bad habit city! If I'm gonna be miserable here I might as well be fat and happy damn it" (inner Doll swears like a trooper! ahem!) Now the problem here lies in my unrealistic goals.. you know.. the "I've been so good I'm bound to have lost 5 lbs this week!" then being gutted when I'm ONLY down 2 ... Also on these starvation weeks I'm probably messing up my metabolism so much that I'm even confusing myself .. so maybe the trick is to eat slower, chew longer, drink more water and not be so tough on myself.... its a journey not a race.. I just need to respect my body, listen to it and reward it in ways that will make the journey better..

Doll x

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