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Let's hear it for the boy...

Laydeez.. and gents.. yes gents.. you're out there.. all your emails and tweets asking about ProPoints and recipes .. I know you're there!!! Well just for the boys and maybe the boyfriends and husbands and hell all the rest of us that need a little inspiring.. my boy pal who's also on the weight loss journey... Mr. Q.. will be posting monthly.. telling his story.. giving tips... and here to ask questions for those thinking this was just for the girls.. he's lost and gained and is on the road to success now... so he knows the highs and lows of weight watchers... x

Am I my own worst enemy?
You always hear of people getting these ‘a-ha’ moments, moments of complete clarity where everything seems to click in place which change their lives for the better. Looking back over the past ten years, my ‘a-ha’ moments only seen to have come in relation to 
my weight!

I think my brain is extremely clever at lying to itself. Let’s examine the evidence I appear to have overlooked: I know I’m overweight, I know my BMI is in the Obese range, I know I’m getting bigger as fewer and fewer clothes fit me, the most recent suit trousers I bought are the next waist size up. Yet my brain can’t seem to put 2 + 2 together! I’m very good at ignoring the obvious.

Over the past 12 years my weight has yo-yoed up and down. I first joined Weight Watchers in September 2003 - I was 16st 7lbs at the time. I lost 21lbs before my birthday (in November) and another 26lbs in the coming months. I remember I was 2lbs off my 50lbs Certificate when I stopped going to the weigh-ins. WHY? I don’t know, one day I just stopped going.

Was I was sabotaging myself? Maybe it was because I’d met someone and was happy emotionally (and also physically following my recent weight-loss)? Or maybe because I was over-confident that I had the system off and I knew what I was doing?

Fast-forward to 2007 and I was back up at 16st 7lbs! FML… That just crept back up without me noticing. I went back to Weight Watchers and dropped around 20lbs before I stopped going again. Yet again the weight crept back on and in January 2010, I re-joined Weight Watchers – this time weighing in at 18st! That was a dark dark day in my life. I remember sitting in the car for half an hour after coming out of the meeting feeling so sorry for myself - I had a little cry.

I lost about a stone before I stopped going (again!) and I put that stone back on as quick as it came off! I was telling myself 18st must be my plateau weight (lies). The people around me could never believe I was 18st when I told them (or so they told me!). In September 2010, I took a career break and went off globe- trotting for 3 months. I remember weighing myself the day before I flew out of Ireland and I was 18 ½ st.

I returned to Ireland during the “Bad Winter of 2010” 3st lighter! I’ve since put that down to the backpacker lifestyle: a combination of living off beans on toast and being more active. From climbing glaciers in New Zealand to Snorkeling on the Great Barrier Reef, Trekking around Vietnam and living out of a capsule in Japan, the travelling had transformed my body!

Unfortunately, my lifestyle while I was backpacking couldn’t have been further from my reality. I’m a computer programmer by trade so spend 8.30-6.00 sitting at a computer desk. I drive to and from work and in general… I’m a lazy person – I have no problem admitting that!

Fast-forward to Saturday, August 25th 2012 and I was helping friends move house. We were doing one final sweep of the upstairs to make sure everything was cleared and I found a weighing scales in their bathroom. I don’t own a weighing scales (probably out of denial) and I stood on it. That Autumn afternoon in my friends empty bathroom, I watched the needle on the scale fly past NINETEEN STONE (19st 2lbs) and I had yet another ‘A-ha’ moment in relation to my weight!

I have never been 19st in my life! How did I let myself get into this state? Looking back, 
I can see how I tricked myself into this state…

-   I would buy new clothes (ignoring the XXL size tag).
-   I would self-edit my Facebook pictures. All of my friends will be familiar with my
    trademark ‘Aerial’ photos – trick I picked up somewhere (Tip: Hold the camera above 
    your eye line and point it downward on the subject, you will have no neck and 
    a skinnier looking face!).
-   I never weighed myself – ever!
-   I would take my friends compliments and never thought they were only just saying 
    what is socially acceptable e.g: No you look great! I never would have said you were 
    THAT weight!

Looking further back, I can see all of the ‘a-ha’ moments which have pushed me to weight watchers and every single one of them are listed below…

- Shame

That Saturday afternoon in my friends’ empty house, I stood looking down at the weighing scale and I felt so much shame… I am the only person to blame for my own size. Not one person has ever force-fed me, prevented me from taking a walk/exercise class/joining a gym, made me choose a take-away over something fresh and homemade. I am my own worst enemy in terms of my weight!

On Tuesday, August 28th 2012… I rejoined Weight Watchers!


  1. I too know the feeling - think I'm doing okay and then step on the scales - feels like a bit of a perpetual rollercoaster, right?! Best of luck on your journey :)

  2. Great post Mr Q. it could be my own story!! I'm a total yo-yo-er! Good luck, you've done it before and you will do it again

  3. This is fantastic post! A story that can be identified with by weight watchers everywhere - male and female. Best of luck on your journey. You are doing great so far (following your progress on Skinny Dolls challenge) and keep up the good work!

  4. Thanks Happy Bubble Gal & Zed!

    I think the toughest part about losing weight is that it takes a lot of inner soul searching - can be a scary place as at the end of the day you only have yourself to answer to.

  5. Holy shit, you're me. Right down to the photo editing. The scary thing is, I KNOW I looked well when I lost the weight. I know I did. Now I fool myself into thinking I still look the same even though I'm +2 stone again. Somewhere in my head I do know it's not possible, and sometimes I wish I could look at myself and think "cop on, you look heavy, get back on track" - but I don't! My brain goes "Ah sure you're grand, that black there is lovely on you, nobody will cop you've put weight back on" - I don't know how to get out of that mindset and that's what I struggle with. Best of luck, will really look forward to your posts :)

  6. Thanks MissGreenEyes

    I think its something that happens to all of us in different ways - some with their weight, others with other vices/behaviours/addictions. I've chosen to ignore my weight piling on - so now I'm paying for working it off :( BUT what is comforting to know is that no action is irreversible as such, you can start tomorrow but only IF YOU WANT.

    Wishing you the best on your weight loss journey also :)

  7. I cried too when I returned to WW at the end of September - I was the heaviest I've ever been and like you, I'd been ignoring it and making excuses for ages. I'm currently 1.5lbs off losing my first stone and loving it! I've got back into a 'normal' BMI for my height and all the lovely compliments I'm getting serve to highlight how badly I needed this ;-). Feeling really positive about where I'm going - I think that's what's different for me from the previous four stints I did in WW.

    Best of luck with your journey - your post was excellent and looking forward to more!

  8. Wow Cailleach thats brilliant!

    I have to say the compliments I've been getting (from the people I'd least expect) has really spurred me on and kept me going.

    I think you are right though - this time it feels really different. I havent been losing loads of weight since going back, its consistent and smaller amounts so I am happy with my progress so far. You'll have to wait till the next post to see how I'm doing :p

  9. Well done John.. think your blog may well be my aha moment :-( something needs to happen..


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