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More than a number...

So... anyone who follows me on social media knows that last week I hit a very significant bench mark on my journey... I have lost 10 stone... I have lost over 6 stone with my current leader and she has no idea how grateful I am to her for supporting me on this journey... but how did I feel? Honestly... I felt relieved I was down... You see, I'm not at goal yet and the fear is still there, in the back of my mind, that I could put it all back on... I've lost lots of weight before and gained it all back... I'm sure when I get to goal there will be tears... but the scales is still just a number... and I have celebrated so many other victories that the number isn't important yet, as I get closer to goal it will be... So many people I know were thrilled for me... and I am so proud of of what I've achieved, and it has not been easy... not just losing the weight but the mindset that's come with it... my best friend got all teary and did a complete Oscar speech on Skype that I nearly just cut her off... and it's not that I'm not happy... 10 stone... 140lbs ... 64kg is massive... it's nearly two Victoria Beckams! But the emotional moments for me have been the normal daily non scale victories...

The day the belt closed on the plane without the extension I fell apart... it took me the entire 55min flight to calm down and compose myself... and god love the air hostess she really wasn't expecting such a melt down from someone saying 'it's OK I don't need it any more...'  *wails*  but I just felt normal and that felt SO good... I never have to ask for that again... I never have to sit in an airport for two hours before a flight and worry that some air hostess isn't going to be kind and subtle, and just slip me the belt extension... and it's embarrassing enough to have to ask for it without the terrible experiences that can come with it but that never has to happen to me again... the relief of that makes me teary just typing it!

I get my bloods checked every month, last month when I got the results, the nurse took out my file from 10 years ago... in 2006, every single thing was highlighted or in bold on the page, they might as well have printing it on florescent paper! This month... only 2 things... I sobbed with relief when I saw the pages side by side... Thankfully the nurse understood and she praised me to high heaven.. it has been hard work... it has been difficult... my body doesn't cooperate with me... but I was so teary afterward I couldn't find the car! My blood pressure is 'textbook'... my cholesterol is 2.9... I can now just decide to walk places if I want to and not feel sore, sweaty or uncomfortable or worry about what people will say when I get there... and I've still got another 6 stone to lose!

Thinking about the Bridge Climb in Sydney this year... I well up every time I go online to the website... The thought that I might actually be able to do it gives me butter flies, or maybe that's just vertigo and nausea?! What if I do it and am perfectly normal and fine??!!! Watch for the headlines... 'Sobbing woman winched from bridge in a heap because she feels normal!' I hope they have tissues at the top!

I suppose the thought behind this post is don't get hung up on a number from an inanimate object that doesn't know how you feel in your own skin... Today, I was on one of the FaceBook groups and a mum was about to throw in the Weight Watchers towel because the scales hadn't moved again... when her daughter came down and hugged her and said she could close her hands behind her back... THAT was the moment that made her think... Yes... it is working... those are the victories to look at when you feel that the number on the scales isn't what you wanted or hoped it would be...

Remember, what you weigh first thing in the morning and last thing at night can vary up to 6/7 lbs! Weigh a glass of water... then drink it.. You'll be up... the scales is an inanimate mechanical object that will weigh whatever you put on it... it might seem silly to say it but sometimes we focus too much on THAT number and not on how healthy and happy we feel!

This also means I'm purchasing only waterproof make up from now on... between this journey and The SuperVet.... sigh...


  1. This is such a lovely post, you have me getting full of butterflies thinking about how well you're doing and for me and the rest of us trying to get there! You're so great. Woohoo Doll <3

  2. Amazing job, well done and you're looking awesome! So happy for you :)

  3. That's awesome! You're rocking the plan!

  4. I have just moved from slimming world to weight watchers and they advised your website was great as I'm struggling trying find out things was thinking of giving up for good but your websites and post talk a lot of sense thank you for making me think again !

  5. While reading this, I kept thinking...this is me, this is exactly how I feel. Since August 2015 I've lost 24kg and have about the same to go, so I'm at halfway house. However, for the last month I've not lost any more weight and I felt discouraged. My clothes though tell me they are getting looser and I feel great....I still need that weight loss "fix", but I try to stay positive and focused even when my mechanical friend seems to be stuck! I'm doing this on my own, but following the basics of Weight Watchers seems to work for me.

  6. You are amazing doll... so many people won't get what you are saying.. I sure do !! You are an inspiration x

  7. Have been reading about your journey from January until now and just wanted to say how much your writing is inspiring me to lose the weight, ones and for all. Thank you for sharing your experiences and giving us the calculated smartpoints on some of
    the products we need,want and love. I too have a lot of old W W books and magazines. Not sure if my brain can work out the new ones but will have a go soon with my stumpy pencil :-) Like many saying 'you are an inspiration to us all' Thank you !!


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