A personal post... and I got a little bit emotional! I think this weight loss lark is starting to seem real! FYI - It's a sea of selfies today, you've been warned!
Rugby is a big thing in my family, we are avid Leinster supporters... yes, even on the cold miserable wet November evenings... I'm a wallaby and Ireland fan through and through too... and honestly if they had met in the quarter finals this year I would be in a heap! Two weeks ago I was in Twickenham, with family and friends at the Australia V England game... and it was brilliant... not only knocking England out of the tournament but the craic was mighty as they say...
This time was SO different and I didn't even realise it until it was over... I went to tesco several times over the weekend never stopped once walking back to the hotel... I wasn't drowning myself in long black cardigans even though it was warm, I popped my jersey over my head like everyone else and was just normal... I was able to get into the spirit of it and enjoy the atmosphere the same as everyone else...
In 2012 at the airport there was a 'Heineken Cup' display n the departures area.. a marketing/promotional thing that you could hold the cup and get pics taken, I remember turning into 'Mrs. Doyle..' YOU all go on, go on, go on... I'm GRAAAAND but my friend insisted I get up and I was SO embarrassed... in my head I was imagining what everyone was thinking.. and honestly everyone else was just getting on with things... but I was humiliated and ashamed... and I almost didn't go... I immediately forgot about that picture until she sent it to me...
Being able to slip a jersey over my head (not a 4XL one!) and just join in the fun meant so much... and it's something that many just take for granted... I know I'm responsible for my weight, it didn't go on over night, depression and an eating disorder helped a lot, but ultimately its my problem and my fault... so I'm not looking for a clap on the back and the journey isn't over... I've still got another 5 or 6 stone to go... and I will get there... slowly and steadily... but I'm not giving up like I have done in the past...
It is strange looking back at pics but it really is an eye opener... seeing just how far you've come can really kick you in the pants to keep going... I know I can do it... the proof is there to see... and when I don't do it, I've chosen not too... and yes, the excuses still come easily, sure I'll dissolve in the rain if I go for a walk, won't I?! But I never want to feel like that again, I never want to feel disgusted with myself... and the fact that I blocked it out just shows how miserable I really was... and yes, it's a cliche, but if I can do it.. then anyone can... I promise...
and lets not forget what it's REALLY all about... ahem... x
*whispers* l love you Rob...
