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Funny thing happened on the way to the theatre...

A personal post today... about my recent trip to the theatre... Sadly not the musical theatre... but the operating one to get some 'unusual' lumps and bumps removed to see if they're just hanging out in me for the craic or if they have a more sinister plan in mind...




About 5 years ago, I was in a similar position and I had a particularly bad experience with the anesthetist... not that we had words... I was too scared to speak... and, like this time, every vein that popped up... collapsed seconds later... I'm a human pin cushion it seems... I digress...



The story from 2010, goes like this...

I arrived at the hospital... registered... and cried... was led to my cubicle and told to get into my gown and into bed so they could start the pre-op fun stuff ... I beeped the nurse... The gown didn't fit... I needed a plus size gown... they head off to find one... they couldn't take my blood pressure on my upper arm because it was too fat... Every single thing they tried to do was compromised because of my weight...  My blood pressure was high... I was teary and just wanted out... but I knew I had to go through with it... you don't want to mess with 'unusual' cells and cysts...

My consultant knew I was a nightmare about needles and hospitals so I was given a 'carer' of sorts to stay with me until I was put in the holding room... I have been known to do a runner with my gown open, bum out to the world, asking for my stuff, telling them that 'I'll happily come back another day'... however... more tears and the anesthetist came out to look at my file and run through the list of illnesses I don't have... and then checked my weight... the conversation went like this...

A - Is this your correct weight?
Me - Yes *sniffles*
A - Well there's no guarantee I can bring someone of your size back round...  You're BMI is very high
ME - *silence*
A - I mean really how did you let it get this bad...
ME - *tears*
A - Sign here but you are a HUGE risk...
*turns to the porter who has been reading the paper to me to keep me in the bed and says* What are YOU doing here? there's NO need for you...
Me - *signs form*

I know I was nearly 9 stone heavier... it was not a surprise to me that I was over weight... it's not like I looked down and went 'jesus how did that get there!?'... I'd been in that hospital with PCOS for years... This was not new information... but she did this in a room of people who were all scared about going under the knife... nurses who were just doing their job... why she felt she had to humiliate me that day was beyond me... Fat shaming? I'm ok with with it for some people tbh but right then? Really? Wrong place wrong time lady...

So time warp to last week, when a scan showed some lumps that were 'suspicious' and they wanted to go in and get things out!

I arrived at the hospital... registered... and cried... was led to my cubicle and told to get into my gown and into bed so they could start the pre-op fun stuff ... I beeped the nurse... I needed a plus size gown... turns out I didn't... and they took blood pressure on my upper arm because it was normal way to do it... My weight didn't factor in any of the pre-op fun stuff... My blood pressure was slightly high, but that's because I'm a 'flight risk'... I was teary and just wanted out... but I knew I had to go through with it... My consultant popped in and she wanted to check some stuff, including my weight...

It went like this...

Me - *stands on scales*
Dr. - um... hang on a second... can you just pop off it for a second?
Dr - *turns scales off and on again*
Dr - Hop up for me...
Me - *stands on scales*
Dr - Have you... Have you lost 9 stone?
Me - 8 stone 10 lbs actually...
Dr - *jaw drops*
Me - *fistpumps*




I got back into bed in my fetching gown... They really shouldn't call them gowns, but that's for another blog post... The porter with me, was doing the crossword and we were all set to get me down to theatre... I was insisting that I can walk there myself, there's nothing wrong with my legs, however  I was told everyone gets a free spin... I'm a nightmare patient... He wheels me into the holding room and a lovely Russian nurse looks at my arms and says 'you've been through it this morning haven't you...' 6 attempts to get blood out of me, all failed ...  it takes her 10 seconds to get the IV in and I'm none the wiser... a complete pro... I hear my name being called... I'm in next... I'm telling myself, no tears... and here she is... Miss Anestheist 2010! It goes like this...


A - I've seen you before haven't I?
Me - Yes
A - Let me just read through your file... *flips through pages* you have a very low patient number you've been with us for a long time... all the lolz...
Me - *stares*
A - my goodness ... you've lost a lot of weight since the last time you were here... well done...
Me - *stares* I know I was bursting to say something but I was afraid I'd call her a bitch or something worse and she wouldn't wake me up!
A - How are you doing it?
Me - Weight Watchers and exercise...
A - They really are very good...
Me - *stares*
A - Well, well done... you still have a bit to go but ... I do understand ... I'm a big emotional eater...
Me - *growls*


When I woke up... she was there... see the last time I tore the recovery room apart trying to get the cables and tubes off me... ( I KNOW!) ... and these people keep notes!

A - You're doing fine... it went very well... much easier than the last time... all that weight loss has made a huge difference...
Me - *stares* I think I threw up then too... eek... still she got the message...


Thankfully I am home and grand... awaiting results... today check out your lumps and bumps, and get your loved ones to do the same... it might be one embarrassing conversation but if it saves their life who cares... if there's something not right get it checked... it only takes a minute... it could be nothing... it could be something... but its best to know...

Doctors and nurses are looking at everyones bits every day... there's nothing, NOTHING they haven't seen... if they don't have something similar to yours then they've looked at 100s just like yours! So don't let your pride or embarrassment stop you from getting things checked... Don't put it off... for 5 mins on the table you can save your life...

Normal service now resumes... thanks for all the nice messages and wishes.. it was lovely to wake up to!






5 comments

  1. Medical professionals can be so insensitive about it. Surely they need to get training on it. I remember at the start of my journey I went in for a dr's apt and my regular doctor wasn't available so I went to see someone else and the whole appointment she kept blaming everything that was wrong on my weight. I explained to her when she first mentioned it that I knew it was an issue and had already lost a stone and was working towards the rest. Instead of encouraging me and recognising the fact I was doing something about it she just continued to berate me about my weight and wouldn't take any of my medical issues seriously as she said it was all down to my weight. I felt so awful when I left I almost went running to the fridge but stopped myself just in time. What she thought was helpful was the exact opposite and almost pushed me to give up or may have stopped me going to the doctor in the future for fear of being treated the same way!

    Anyway, hope you are feeling better doll and your results come back quickly and with good news xx

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  2. Glad your ok xxx What I think of A isnt suitable to write...

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  3. 30 years ago, in labour and weighing over 18 stones, I asked for an epidural (correction - I screamed for an epidural!). The anaesthetist (fairly portly male) walked in and said "You're a big girl and that makes it difficult but I'll do my best." I was distraught! In the end, there was no problem and the nurse said she'd never seen it done so quickly! I've never forgotten that so I share your views on members of that profession. Hope you get good news soon re results.
    Jx.

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  4. I'm assuming A is for Asshole ;-)
    I have PCOS too, it's a right bitch.
    I hope you're feeling ok and fingers crossed for good news for you xxx
    Nicola

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  5. So well-written. I am so sorry that a profession that should be knowledgeable and sensitive is nothing but cruel and not introspective. Could things have gone so well this time Dr.A because of the bedside manner? Thanks for sharing. LN

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