If you've ever had a binge you will totally get this post...
I have had an emotional connection with food since I was a child... for as long as I can remember it's been a friend and an enemy... When I left school and started college and uni, I took control something that for so long had been controlled for me... and I lost the run of myself with that power!
I became so good at hiding my eating disorder that I used to be secretly so pleased with myself, that I had 'conned' my friends and family... in fact some of them still don't know! That mindset of feeling like I'd won some prize by bingeing and purging without anyone knowing was all in my head... All I felt at the end of every binge was unhappy... sick... sore... my teeth hurt... my stomach ached... my whole body would shake and I'd be sitting on the floor in floods of tears wondering how someone smart like me ended up like this... It was a vicious cycle that took years for me to break and there are still times when I binge, but I've learned to control it a lot more... You don't need to have an eating disorder to know how it works... if you're an emotional eater then you've been there... when you eat crap, when you fill your body up with processed foods and over indulge in alcohol you body makes it pretty clear its not happy... That 1 minute of satisfaction ends up making you miserable... The trick is to realise what's making you unhappy, and find the solution without using food... I know sometimes only a chocolate bar will make you feel any better but 2 bars... 3... not fixing the problem just muting it for a while...
Crappy food (although it's delicious thanks to all the additives!) make crappy skin, crappy sleep... craving even more rubbish to satisfy that slat and sugar overdose, and feeling like you're a human waste bin (which FYI does NOTHING for your self esteem!) not to mention how your body deals with the aftermath!
Sure we all indulge in a night out but when you eat well, and drink enough water.. you feel better... It's learning to limit the crap, indulge once in a while... Nothing is off the menu but remember when a bar of chocolate was a treat? Not a daily energy boost...
Give your body the fuel it needs this week... and you'll feel amazing!
I really needed this. I havnt been binge eating but I just havnt been eating well and Ive been feeling terrible. I've been so busy at work and not prepared food wise that I'm snacking on biscuits or crisps just because they are there when I'm starving and the tension headache is coming on. After reading your blog I feel a little bit better and stronger to try and do better this week, for me and my mindset. Thank you for sharing your story.
ReplyDeleteAn inspiration as always... binge eating never goes away.. but every day we are strong enough to resist and make healthy choices, makes the next time a bit easier
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