Leave the past in the past!

There's a comment that I come across all the time on this journey, here... on FB and twitter and even in class.. the dreaded confession... 

'I'm rejoining... AGAIN!'

If I had a euro for every time I have joined every version of fat camp... you name it, I've tried it... I'd be able to afford lipo!!! 

This time however, I've learned a few things along the way... this time all the things I doubted I've trusted... I have rolled my eyes more than usual because I knew them all along but didn't trust myself to believe them!!!

THIS time I've learned... 

... that I can change!
Life may have dealt us a hand of cards but we can change them.. if you believe in yourself you can change your circumstances... We change and grow as people every day.. and people make decisions that transform their lives EVERYDAY! SO can you! Head of of the sand and believe in change! 

... to forgive myself and MOVE ON!
When things go wrong in Camp Doll... I am very hard on myself... my reactions are often worse than what I've actually done! Self criticism, anger, shame, self loathing... they all come from a very dark place ... I pride myself on being a good friend... I believe that to get through life you need good people you can love and trust and they in turn will be there for you.. don't get me started on my Karma bank... but sometimes I should really be a good friend to myself!

... I'm a priority!
My health and weight loss are number one on my list... and 5 stone lighter its been worth it! The life overhaul can wait.. my health is the most important thing right now... and when I had joined and rejoined before it wasn't!

... I needed a list!
This time when I re-joined WW, I wrote a list.. it was long... and there were tears writing it... I've shared it with close friends and one day I'll post it up here... Its called my 'DONE' list... and boy is it LONG... it includes .. I'm done relying on food to make me happy... I am done saying the words "If only.." and "I wish.." and "One day.." ... I am done being embarrassed and ashamed of myself... I am done saying I wished I looked like that! ... I am done being paranoid about what i buy at the grocery, if someone looks in my trolley, would they approve? ...

Try it! and be honest! Then read it! LOTS! 

... to watch my language!

My list made me realise I'm not very kind to myself either! That little Doll in my head can be quite a bitch sometimes! So I'm learning to change the way she talks... when she moans.. 'back to the diet fatty...' I actually make myself hear.. 'another step towards my healthier lifestyle!' In the past I've caught myself thinking 'sure I'll never stick to this... so I might as well just give up now...' NOW its baby steps.. one step at a time.. everyday makes a difference... today's progress might seem small but the long-term results won't be!

... to LEARN from the past!
Past weight loss attempts aren't a complete loss.. WHY didn't it work? You realise you don't like the gym... you don't do well when you feel deprived.. that was one of mine.. telling me I can't have something just makes me want it all the more! Learning this hasn't been a waste of time.. telling myself I can have it if I want... but I just don't WANT it... has been a huge lesson!

Don't let previous experiences hold you back! You can lose weight even if you've tried a million times before..  I'm living proof! I've still got a long way to go but there's no giving up now!