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You do you boo!


I'm all for body positivity... I am... but when you don't like yourself very much, when you've never liked yourself at all and someone tells you you should just 'love your body', it's not as easy as it sounds... I have spent years hating myself, every single inch of me... and you can't just stop and reprogram your brain over night to be all rainbows and moon beams. 'Embrace my curves', sure but when your super morbidly obese it's not just curves, it's a body that's a ticking time bomb from years of abuse and loathing... It's an early funeral and a vicious circle of bingeing and purging every feeling you have about yourself. It's anxiety about what will happen if you do die from this... your family.. your friends... It's worry that you have every single thing in order, just in case. These thoughts have been with me for years. It makes me sad that I think that way and I've spent hours in counselling, therapy talking about leaving everything in order, because of my weight... It's sad but I know I'm not alone! 

Yes, I understand the world is full of industries who profit from our self doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act these days... make up, hairdressers, clothing sizes, the diet industry all make a buck off our insecurities. We SHOULD be able to go out not wearing make up, not caring what the label says on our top, we SHOULD be able to, but we're of a generation who are, hopefully, the last to feel this way... but seriously, how good do you feel when you get your hair done? How much better do you feel when you lash on some lippy? Isn't it all about loving ourselves a little more and realising that some of us might take a little bit longer to get there than others even if we gotta pay for it? I work hard enough to be able to buy some glitter and throw it about the place if it makes me feel good... 

There are so many righteous people out there who think I'm a bad person because I do WW... Honestly the internet is a disturbed place.... (if you have time to troll others online and berate other people because of how they look, or because they follow a weight loss plan, step away from the keyboard and go do something useful... go check the battery in the smoke alarm!) Rather than hate on those of us who just want to feel better about ourselves... those of us who follow points, count calories or syns or macros or eat cabbage all day... maybe try to shower those of us struggling with a little bit of positivity no matter what plan/diet/lifestyle we choose to follow rather than judge us for trying something that makes us feel a bit better about ourselves... Give us tips on how to love our bodies more, show us the way oh great body positivity people, I'd love nothing more than to learn some tips and tricks about self love and i follow SO many accounts to try to do just that...  but just remember it's our choice. Yelling at us that we've no morals, we're feeding into a society of self loathing, making us feel like we're just bad people for wanting to feel better about ourselves... it doesn't make you a hero of body positivity, it makes you one of the bad guys for making people who already feel crap about themselves feel even worse! We're not stupid, and we're not children, we just need support and help, not berating and shitty attitudes thrown at us... 

Yes, I'm following a plan put together by a company who profits from it, it's my money, it's my time and it's my choice. I don't preach that it's the best plan on the planet but it works for me after 25 years and eight crowns (yes 8 crowns, very expensive ones!) I know more about eating disorders than I ever really wanted to... Would I want anyone else to HAVE to follow the path I did,? Hell no... I hope my friends have taught their children they're gorgeous no matter what.. because they are! That food is just fuel and that's all not an emotional crutch... I've told leaders that allowing children into meetings really isn't a great idea, I know this having attended WW meetings as a child, I know some mums can't get childcare but I hope they are teaching their kids that 'it's just a club for mum to meet other people and stay healthy' not a place where you're told 'you can't have nice food' or 'you're not good enough' because my class really isn't a place like that... People struggle, people need to hear they're not alone... Following WW has reduced my medication, made me a little bit more confident and so far it's the only thing that has worked for me... I've tried it all, every pill, every plan but this and the friends I've made doing this plan have worked for me so far and I don't care if my money makes someone rich right now because honestly my tenner every week is well worth the positivity and motivation I get for it... I'm one of the ones shaking my pom poms at ANYONE who feels a bit better this week than they did last week, regardless of if they walk 3 miles a day or go to the gym at 3AM! If they feel better I'm gonna cheer em on! 

Yes, I might like myself a bit more that I did when I started this journey, I was a hermit dressed head to toe in black and hated every single thing about my life... but one day I hope I will look in the mirror and like what's looking back at me... but it's a massive step and fair play to those of you who can love what's looking back at you already but understand so many others find it SO hard, nearly impossible, like I do... This week I'm going to shake those pom poms at every person who I meet and make em feel good... life's too short! 


6 comments

  1. You should definitely shake those pom poms at yourself! I think you are too hard on yourself,you look so cute in your pictures๐Ÿ˜Š

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    1. aw... thanks but you know when you've spent years feeling rubbish it's a tough journey to clear those thoughts x

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  2. Yes! I think people who dismiss WW and the like are also dismissing a whole heck of a lot of context. Great post as usual \o/

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    1. Exactly... live and let live.. if people love it - great! If they hate it - move along! x

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  3. Just found skinnydoll I love it ๐Ÿ˜

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