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Something I forgot...



Anyone who follows me on social media knows I've been miserable with the whole weight loss and blogging thing for the last few weeks... I've was thinking about giving up the lot and just taking a break from it all... Toys were going to be thrown out of the pram... there were tears after class in the car this week... not just because I was up but because I just can't find the motivation to get myself back into gear and I'm frustrated with myself... Hence this is the first blog post for June! 

I was suppose to be visiting my best friend this weekend and I was really looking forward to it but things went against us and I had to postpone it for a few weeks... I got a bit sad about it all but I happily used that excuse for the tears to flow, it was the catalyst needed to get me to COP ON... When someone asked me why I was so upset, there was lots of reasons... it wasn't because I hadn't seen her in a while, she lives in the UK and it's hard to get together more than once or twice a year... Sadly my closest friends all live abroad and I don't get to hang out with them so I miss them loads... Nor was it because her gorgeous daughter is growing up so fast before I get a chance to really spoil her... Those are genuine reasons but honestly I just needed some time to myself and to be myself and I can be with her... We weren't planning anything too mad, a facial, manicure, a potter round the shops, fancy tea and ALL of the chats... but this weekend, whilst I was at home, I realised that recently, I've fallen back in to the trap of trying to please everyone and in that madness I'm not happy myself any more... it's so easy to say 'yes' to people all the time, when you really just want to say 'FECK OFF and let me do what I want'... That's not selfish... when people and jobs drain you, they're not good for you... I've spent the last two weeks over thinking a situation with a friend who really doesn't deserve that much brain space, because if the shoe was on the other foot she wouldn't do the same, I know this for sure! When things that were fun and enjoyable become a chore then it's time to think 'why?' and remember why you started in the first place and how to get the joy back... I know there are some not-so-nice things in life that we HAVE to do but if the decision is ours to make, then we've got to learn to pick ourselves first sometimes... 

I've spent the last few days soul searching and thinking about what I really want... ME.. what do I really want? And what's stopping me from doing it? I've realised I'm taking things WAY to personally... I'm trying to fix the world and their problems and I'm pushing mine to the sidelines because I don't think they're important enough... Guess what, the world won't stop turning if I don't help every single living creature on the planet, who knew?! Good old reliable me actually needs ME!

I've also been hunting for my mojo and whilst I don't think I'm back driving the wagon yet,  I'm certainly feeling a little better about the journey and where I stand now... a perfectly timed email about an hour ago from my leader has really helped, it's like she knows when I need it most! I'm telling you folks, the right leader is just magic! 

So this week put YOU top of the list... I'm back on top of mine from today! If you're in a good place, everyone who loves you will be in a better place because of it... Here's to the next stage of the journey yeah? xxx





18 comments

  1. Doll, you've nailed it on the head. Time out and time for you is so so important - there are so many excuses we can pull on to lep off the wagon and it's so hard to remind ourselves we're worth the time and effort and the haul it takes to clamber back on. Thinking of you & missing our pre-class chats! Jenny xx

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    1. I really had a dose of cop on yesterday! Miss you loads! We need a monthly meetup-debrief-coffee-nail-manicure-god-forbid-we-go-for-a-walk date! You'll be grand today too! I saw your post! xxx

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    2. Your dose of cop on is infectious! You are so honest & real. Let's do it - any & all of the above! I'll inbox you xx

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  2. Your spot on Doll.. take a step back and as the Take That song says "you can do what you like"
    I've decided to make June a "Me Month" I'm suiting myself 100% and I feel all the better for it, its like I've taken back control (even tho I didn't know I'd let it go!) and dya know what.. no one has noticed because they're all caught up with their own lives.... so lesson learned for me (the hard way but still)
    Take it one day at a time and you'll slowly feel your mojo coming back xxx

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    1. That is such a good idea! I honestly believe that sometime we make things SO much bigger than they really are... and when we realise that things are so important we're kinda shocked... LOL

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  3. Doll, you've put into words what we feel a lot of the time. Pleasing others and not taking our needs as necessary.

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  4. Well said! I have terrible trouble motivating myself, which I find frustrating as I want to lose w eight more than anything in the world. I also have a friend who is a huge emotional drain... Your words have really rung true for me, and I am going to be kinder to myself instead of trying to be everything to everyone. Thanks and best wishes x

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    1. Exactly... just be the best version of you... and there's only one you... it can be exhausting to be constantly working at the silly stuff and miss out on the telly important things that we just dismiss... x

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  5. so very true. It's really important to put yourself first x

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  6. It really is one of those things you need to pace yourself and realize that it is okay to focus on you and put yourself first..

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    1. you really do and its' easy to put everyone and everything else first sometimes.. but it benefits no one if you're not in good form xxx

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  7. Hi doll. Glad to see you back ,just make sure you are up for it and do take some Me time out whenever you feel like it.
    Sorry to see you have had such a horrid time at late but hope it all behind you and you will be able to meet up with your friend soon for some pampering, shopping and fruit salad :-) Take care and one foot in front of the other one day at time (even if it can be hard sometimes,oh ye) x

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    1. I think I'm going to have to book myself some treats! LOL xxx

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  8. Thank you for writing such a brilliant post about trying to keep the momentum going. I've been in the same boat as you for the past few months and this weekend I was so embarrassed standing up on the scales, cos I knew I'd be up. It was such a support to read your blog post this week and to know that someone like you, who inspires so many people with your blog can face the same struggle too. My leader was great this week, she just made me realise that by sticking with the meetings I'm gonna get there in the end.

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    1. It really is baby steps and being a little kinder to ourselves... My meeting definitely got me back on track even though I didn't want to be there and was holding back the tears at one point but it really does help... I don't think there's anyone who doesn't struggle... if they don't then they're not human... xxx

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  9. found this saying recently when I was feeling like you....goes something like this.......Some people inspire you, others drain you, choose wisely .....it made me sit up and think ! we are not alone out there ....thank you for your honesty. take care x

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