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I got the blues...



today I got the sads ... there's a number of reasons for this..  I'm run down.. both doctor and dentist are on my case and my immunity is playing tricks on me again... I put my back out because of this, acting like superwoman when clearly I'm not ... a good friend needs a big hug and I'm not close enough to give the help that's needed.. and all the words I seem to say don't seem to come out right...  I've lost a friend ... someone I thought I knew well and now I'm questioning my judgement of character ... what if all my friends in that circle feel the same?!? Paranoia is rife! ... half of the year has gone.. and for the last few weeks I've been losing the same pound and a half over and over... my mojo has slipped.. AND its a monday and the forecast, shocker, is more rain! Its a sucky day in Dolltown ... :(


I'm a pretty positive person, despite what life has thrown at me... the glass is always half full.. I'm lucky I come from a family of similar thinkers, so positivity is always there to share... But sometimes trying to motivate yourself to stay on track can be SOOOOOOO hard... I envy those people who can eat what they like and be happy with their body image... I'd love to wake up one day and just throw on something and know it looks OK without all the drama that goes with it... the mental torture.. PLUS its a nightmare coming home after work to find your bedroom looks like down town Beirut after the mornings antics! I know I've lost a lot of weight... I feel much healthier than I ever have.. I know there's still a lot to go and I know I'm able to do it... but some days.. today.. I'm not in that frame of mind... and I don't want to slip back into bad habits...


Over the weekend I did some over thinking.. its one of my strengths! (does anyone else wish they could turn their brain off?!) and I discovered that I've surrounded myself with people who are just like me.. and are struggling too.. not that I want you all to suffer but when you're doing this journey.. it can sometimes get lonely and thankfully I was reminded that I wasn't alone... I'm not struggling alone... and I will get back on track... and my body needs to catch up with me... I need to get it better and it will with continued losses ... and I need to go a bit easier on myself... I've learned I'm quite the task master, I blame the catholic upbringing...  and the tears of anger or sadness towards myself won't actually help .. but neither will the 'suck it up' attitude.. sometimes you've got to be a little kinder to yourself.. and that's not with cookies!

If anyone sees my mojo can they let me know!

She looks like this.. >>>
thanks
Doll x


22 comments

  1. Doll, we've all been in the same situation you describe above in one form or another. Something I have learned over the past few years is that nothing is ever how is seems/presents itself.

    That person you are talking about who can just get up in the morning and throw on clothes without thinking about how it looks on them could be in a sucky job/relationship or have money troubles/illness/family issues going on.

    My point is, and you have said it - don't focus on the negatives but look at the positives.

    Look at everything you have done for so many people out there on the WW journey. This blog is such an amazing resource for anyone on the WW path. Don't shrug it off as "This is only me blogging my own journey" or "Shur its no bother"... its a credit to you and something you should be proud to stand alongside and say "Yes, I've put in hard work & time and I am proud of it".

    Now (here comes the tricky part I have trouble it). How do you apply the same motivation we have in certain areas of our lives into other areas of our lives. I suppose if someone had the answer to that, they could bottle it and sell it for millions.

    I think you are amazing and hope your lost mojo returns soon x

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    1. My go to boy! You are a feckin rock! Its taken me time to answer these cause I was all 'WHATEVAAAAAAA' NO BODY UNDERSTANDS ME" drama queen but thank you.. you're my inspiration! x

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  2. Hi
    Must be something in the air, I have just read your blog and wondered if we have been reading each others minds.

    Keep positive xx
    Lisa

    http://dolittleswwjourney.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. Its funny I read your post and wondered was there something in the air!?! But you forget how amazing the support is from a blog.. and how much you really rely on it... hope you're on the way out of your slump too x

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  3. Awww don't be blue :( I get like this too, you feel like life is kicking your butt!

    But everything will be ok and you will be back to your normal chirpy self in no time! I'm the same, such an over thinker. If you figure out how to stop this, do let me know!

    Virtual hugs! xxx

    www.squidgymoments.ie

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    1. Its sucky isn't it.. but you gotta have the bad to appreciate the good as they say x

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  4. I hope you get your mojo back soon Doll, I know we all feel like this at some point or another, but it's hard to put it into words and it's hard to see a way out sometimes. Look at how far you've come and look at how many people you are helping on a daily basis. You're a star, and with regard to losing people - sometimes in life we are friends with particular people for particular periods of time and then that's it. It's done. You could meet a new person tomorrow that will say exactly what you need to hear right now. It's hard when things move on or end, but it just clears the way for new good things to happen. If I see your kickboxing pig, I'll send her your way, but I doubt you'll need her. You are perfectly capable of kicking serious ass all by yourself ;-)x

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    1. aaawwwwww you're so right.. sometimes you just have to let go of the past and realise that the new you doesn't suit everyone.. Thanks this means loads to me x

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  5. Sending you a big squashy hug and lots of love xxx hope you feel better soon, I know that feeling. You are not alone xxx

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    1. Getting there.. building up speed! xxx

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  6. Oh Doll, **Big Hug for you** its a rotten feeling, when everything hits you at the same time BUT you'll be the better and stronger for it.. Give yourself some time and be kind to yourself.. your mojo is probably off on holidays but will return, ready for action!!
    I've been loosing the same 2lbs for the last few weeks and I want bang my head against a wall BUT I'll get it off and keep it off, as will you.
    You'll be back to it when your body has recovered and rested :)
    You are an amazing lady, and inspirator and motivator of the highest degree and its your friends loss, not yours xxxx

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    1. hey gorgeous! You are another of my big inspirations! I LOVE your blog! Mojo is back .. without a tan might I add.. xxx

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  7. I'm a huge fan of yours Doll, I come by this page every day to see if you have posted. You are an inspiration to so many people, don't forget that!! We all have those miserable days where we just feel 'meh' about everything and the world gets to us.
    Hope you feel better soon, sending loads of big warm cuddles your way :-)
    Xx

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    1. aw thanks .. These comments mean so much when you're feeling blue.. xxx

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  8. Skinny Doll, you poor thing. These kind of feelings come to us all, and it's horrible. But give yourself time and it'll all work out in the end. Just take it one minute, hour day at a time. I've lost a friend too, and it is like being in mourning but I think friendships can be transcient. And that people come in/out of your life when you need them.
    I am also losing the same 2lbs for the last 6 weeks. But at least I'm not putting on weight.
    I come on here most days to be inspired by you and your journey. I also follow you on twitter and often laugh out loud at your posts.
    So be kind to yourself, choose one thing you love to do and treat yourself.
    Massive hugs doll, sending the best wishes in the world to you. :-)

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    1. I think you're right.. friendships come and go and its sad but you've got to move on sometimes.. thanks so much for the comments .. xxx

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  9. Hi Doll, Hope you have got your mojo back we all get down at times. Your blog has really inspired me I drop in regularily and anytime I feel like giving up I read back over some of your old ones. Hope you are feeling better

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    1. You know I did the same thing.. I went back to see what I was on about when I started and it really helped.. all mended now and improving every day.. xxx

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  10. I'm sorry you were feeling like this but to be honest it's just what I needed to read to remind me that I'm not the only one who feels a bit crappy from time to time and that even people who are strong (and you are right up there!) can have moments of weakness. I've let my weakness get the better of me for 6 months now - I was made redundant back in February (the day before my birthday to top it off!), I had to move out of my apartment because I didn't know how many more paydays were coming, I lost my €800 deposit because my landlord went into receivership and I ended up moving somewhere that doesn't make me happy because the rental market was slim pickings at the time. I'm not usually a "why me?" person on the outside, I keep that bottled up because I don't want to appear to be attention seeking but this year has been a bit of a bitch to me so far and that's on top of a not so great 2012. It could be worse, I know, but your own problems are personal and can't really be compared to someone else's. Anyway, I did what I always do and I went back to comfort eating. Today is the first time I've stood on the scales since February and I've put on 1.5 stone. I could look at that number and add it to the list of moans I have at the moment or I could look at the fact that the number on the scales is still 1.5 stone less than what I weighed in April of 2012. Luckily, I had the foresight to pop on here and read this entry and I'm now leaning in the direction of positivity. I look in the mirror and don't like what I see but unlike the rest of the stuff that's happened this year - that is something I can change. The second half of the year is still in progress so maybe things can even out. I'm still working at the moment and trying to get my €800 back too so things could turn around. I guess it's back to WW on Friday, I just hope my leader isn't too disappointed in me! Thanks Doll, for giving me the push I needed, and sorry for all the waffle. I hope you've got your mojo back by now! :)

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    1. oh Jen I'm sorry to her that.. but you're right in seeing it as you're still lighter than when you started and you can make a difference cause you're in control of your weight.. its horrible when everything seems to come down on you at once as well.. you feel like its all you and when you look at it.. things are out of your control... you're leader, if shes a good one, will be delighted to see you back and it'll be a fresh new start for both of you.. and once you're on track you'll feel SO much more confident to face the world! Mojo is back.. just .. I'm hanging onto the wagon with my fingernails but I'll be damned if I give up totally now! I've done that in the past and I've felt SO stupid... gone back with even more than when I'd started the first time.. so you're doing the right thing.. suck it up and you'll be grand.. I swear.. and everybody struggles... trying to be the strong one all the time doesn't really work I've found.. so waffle away! xxx

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  11. I know you posted this a few weeks ago, but I came onto your blog looking for some inspiration and I am so glad I read this post. I have been losing the same 4.5lbs since I rejoined WW back in May. I just can't seem to break into the 13's. Like everyone here, I have had a few issues going on in my life but funnily enough I had ignored the friend issue. I have grown apart from my best friend and I had boxed up my feelings about it. It has definitely played a part in how down I have been since January. The truth is we have grown apart. We're different and I need to focus on the positives in my life. Thank you so much for your post as you have made me feel so much better. I hope you have found your mojo x

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    1. hey... sorry for the delay... its funny how friends are transient in our lives and how much they mean to us.. losing someone you thought you'd know forever is a real blow.. and it knocks your self esteem.. and confidence.. but everyone changes as they go through life and some people are only meant to stay for a little while maybe.. but I've learned that its ok to put yourself first.. in fact its really important... mojo is restored.. A new month and a stone less... hope you're doing ok x

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