This has been a major concern of mine ... and this has happened with previous weight loss attempts .. sabotage. People in your life, who really don't want you to lose weight... why? Whats the motive behind it? I'm finding out that people who I respect and admire are in on the act and I can't understand why? Is it a jealousy thing? Is being the fat friend really compulsory? are they happy that they've got me in a niche in their lives and now are afraid that my personality will change? I won't be the funny, jolly friend to stand outside changing rooms reassuring them of their looks? Its quite extraordinary and totally surprising. And its the people I suspected the least! People with a lot of weight to lose themselves... who should understand! I suppose once I address my problem its going to make them face THEIRS! If I change then they will have to face up to their situation... Is it a case of having to move on without them? To stand up and fight the fight and to hell with them? I'm really unsettled by this. Its brought up flaws in characters which I didn't even know existed. There will be more investigation into this... I'm saddened by the reactions of some..
I have this problem, too. I told my parents/family my ultimate goal weight, and all they could say was, "That's too low, you'll be too skinny, why can't you stop when you're about a size 16? You'll look great then!"
ReplyDeleteJust because my Mum feels comfortable about a size 16 doesn't mean I will be. My goal weight is the middle of my BMI range, and will put my about a size 10/12.
Yet my big sister's about the same weight as MY ultimate goal weight, and it's perfectly okay for her, because she's 4 inches shorter than me, but she wants to lose more weight, too, because she feels she's too big, and my Mum just keeps saying, "But you look fine as you are, Linda!"
I know this is my MOTHER'S problem, and not mine, but I feel like... if I get to my goal weight, and she doesn't get to hers, is it a case of jealousy?
But yeah, it hurts sometimes, doesn't it? You wonder how people who are supposed to be behind you can't just, you know... be BEHIND you the whole way, so long as you're not hurting yourself.
/rant
to be, or not to be...THIS IS GREATER!
ReplyDeleteHave you also heard that thing about women adjusting their weight to match their friends? I swear to god this is true. The two periods of my life where I was my heaviest (15 to 20 above where I am now) were the few years that I spent where my best friends (2 different friends from 2 different periods of my life)were morbidly obese. You may need to get some new friends who don't see your healthful eating as threatening or odd.
ReplyDeleteAnd, some of the sabotage is just bad habits -- on their part and yours. We train people how to treat us. You may just need to guide them as you guide yourself toward the new Skinny Doll way of living, behaving, talking about food, your body, and looking at your body.
(outer) Slimming Pains = (inner)Growing Pains
Your WW co-adventurer,
Bridget aka "The Lazy Woman"
lazywoman.blogspot.com
I think people get used to seeing you one way, so when you're brave enough to do something about your weight, it impacts on their life. A lot of people resent change, and you're spot on about the jealousy.
ReplyDeleteIf it's a friend that is unsupportive about your weight loss, and they're also unsupportive in other areas like career moves and relationships, i'd consider either broaching the subject or avoiding the friendship. A great friend should want you to be happy.
Family however is a whole other kettle of fish :)
OMG...I wrote a whole post on these type of ppl...HATERS! I will never understand this phenomenon. You would think that your friends would be happy for you and the changes your making in your life. But for whatever reason, the green eyed monster rears its head. Some ppl just don't want you to change b/c they think you'll leave them behind with your new life. I had a heavy friend and we kind of encouraged each other to be and stay FAT. But every time I wanted or tried to lose weight she wasn't very supportive. Long story short, we are no longer friends.
ReplyDeleteSo true. Worst thing is though, I'm easily tempted so at the cinema I would bring my own healthy snacks like fruit and a Melba bread and then my cousin (who is heavier then me) gets all 'why won't you have popcorn, you have to eat.. I feel guilty then even though I would have ate my fruit and Melba bread. Its terrible really, aggghhh!
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